I'm feeling dragged down today. And yet it finally stopped raining and there is sunshine already (with forecast of scattered storms.
No pain. No energy. Blahs.
Boredom.
Wait, this was what I was dealing with BH (before hospital) Home on Tues. last week, thus AH (after hospital).
The big thing was of course being in the hospital. For 5 days I didn't have to make any decisions. I could complain if there was a problem, and people would take me seriously and try to find a solution.
Since AH, I've been provided meals (dinners, once a day.) And thus I don't have to do anything but heat something up. Soup, Lasagna, pizza (all gone now), fruit (a bit too much led to some diarrhea...which you didn't need to know.) Today some kind of wrap that sounds exotic.
But the shock of making all my own decisions for myself again...I had no idea that would be so sobering.
I finally took a shower and put on clean clothes, after a couple of days. I really didn't care how I looked or smelled. Sorry about that!
I asked for help from a friend taking me to the doctors office for a check of my systems (some blood tests sent off) I tried reducing my inhaled Albuterol, using just the puffer. I think that just didn't give me enough of that drug...so I'm going back on a nebulizer treatment again. The nurse practitioner was trying to reduce my feeling of shakiness, but I ended up not wanting to even wake up. There's got to be a fine line there!
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| Very few buds on the Mountain Laurel outside my apartment. |
Am I depressed? If anyone isn't these days, I'd be surprised. But I am about as motivated as a leaf on the wind. Wherever I'm tossed is ok with me right now.
I think my heart is first and foremost adjusting to new and different blood flow. Where it was almost nothing, now it's going at full capacity. It may only be an artery on the heart muscle itself, not the main ones that feed either lungs or the circulation of the body...but it seems pretty important.
So I'm looking at YouTube videos describing how the heart works. It's slow going. Los of diagrams.
When it starts to make sense, and I can feel the pumping working as they describe, I'll take a break.
Hello, I am sure all of us have some kind of anxiety going on now with this Covid lockdown. Maybe taking slow short walks outside could help lift up your spirits/mood. I wish you well, Take care and stay safe.
ReplyDeleteYes, Eileen. I need to be closer to nature. SO I'll walk around the grounds a bit tomorrow!
Delete...we will have many sunny days in the future.
ReplyDeleteYes, indeed.
DeleteYou are dealing with a double whammy -- medical issue plus being on your own.
ReplyDeleteWell, it's nothing new...but this is one of the times that I do miss having family around. I'm really fortunate to have such good friends willing to do just about anything!
DeleteGive yourself time.
ReplyDeleteYou have had major surgery. I think the mental recovery takes as long as the physical. Spend time as you wish not as you think you should.
One thing my docs emphasized was that it would take at least three months before I would feel really recovered and even then things would be different.
I am so glad that you are getting through this with help.
Thanks...though the surgery was with a catheter, I guess it did change me quite a bit. So I'll try to take it easy and not be surprised that I just don't want to get out of bed much.
DeleteI wish we were neighbors, I'd bring you some yummy food and bouquet of flowers from our yard. I hope good thoughts from virtual friends help lift your spirits. Been thinking of you. Take care there, Barbara.
ReplyDeleteOh Robin, you are so like some of my friends here. I appreciate your virtual energies, as I'm pretty sure all good wishes of any kind do add to the balance of nature.
DeleteIt's hard to be motivated, sometimes I feel like the days are just flying away. Short walks help me get through the day these days and I am thankful for that. Hope you feel better, take care and stay safe.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'll try a short walk tomorrow. Sounds good.
DeleteRecovery IS slow, especially for us elders. You have to find your balance between healing sleep and nesessary movement. An, of course, the occasional shower.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I think I'd already given up on wearing deodorant, since my nose didn't care what my sweat smelled like. Poor staff at the hospital, they must have been glad to have on masks! OK, shower daily. Seems like it feels good anyway.
DeleteMy dear, depression can keep you from doing too much and that is a good thing. I am often depressed on rainy mornings. I have wondered why natural selection would create so many people with some degree of depression and here it is! There are times that human beings are better off taking it easy.
ReplyDeleteConsider the pandemic. Those who stay home have a higher chance of surviving. We tend to treat depression as an aberration but it can be beneficial.
your headline says: hope! But we need both sun and rain. Don´t we? Together they works wonders.
ReplyDeleteTake care of yourself.