The good, the frazzled and the vibrating things (don't get your hopes up)

 

Today's art:

Rembrandt van Rijn, The Night Watch,

My vibrating vest machine...

I'm supposed to put this vest on at least 15 minutes a day, to help loosen up mucus. If only I could be more disciplined about it. It's loud, heavy, and uncomfortable...makes my whole body shake, and I just feel awful doing it. I don't usually cough much out either. I worry about my osteoporosis and shaking my bones. So...

 There's a cute little thing I can blow into (flutter valve) which also vibrates, and I do use it frequently and it triggers a few coughs. So I'm doing what the doctor wants, sort of. Bronchiectasis means coughing is good. I sure wish otherwise. 

I push myself to just do these routines. But I'm quite tired of them. Those others who deal with chronic conditions know what I'm talking about. I won't go into how frustrating and depressing it is. Just gotta do it one day at a time!

OK Sharing with Thankful Thursday...after all I'm still breathing!

Tall mountains

 The following photos were posted by Marie Enriquez of Mt. Blue Sky, which has the highest road that goes on a "Fourteener" - one of the mountains in  Colorado that is 14,000 feet or more high.

Colorado is home to 58 named peaks that rise above 14,000 feet in elevation, known as the fourteeners or 14ers. Climbing these impressive summits is one of the most popular outdoor activities in the state

It used to be called Mt. Evans. I didn't live here when the name was changed, but I visited it in 2005 when the old name still was there, as well as some remaining glaciers.

It was still called Mt. Evans when I visited in 2005.

The glaciers have all melted which fed these lakes.

The mountain was previously named for the second governor of the Territory of Colorado, John Evans. However, due to Evans's involvement in the 1864 Sand Creek Massacre, there were years of discussion over renaming Mount Evans. On September 15, 2023, the United States Board on Geographic Names officially changed the mountain's name to Mount Blue Sky.

Wikipedia

Sharing with Sepia Saturday and Skywatch Friday

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First visit with new pulmonologist - very encouraging. He gave me lots of hope. He recommended pulmonary rehab (which I've done before and found really beneficial) as well as physical therapy to help me feel more confident walking. I hope these will enable me to be able to walk around my neighborhood soon. Plus he said to give it 6 months to get used to living more than a mile high.

Movie and gratitude

 Thankful Thursday

I watched a Netflix movie the other night, Song Sung Blue. Hugh Jackman and Kate Hudson playing a musical couple who sing tributes to Neil Diamond. It is full of music which I love, and a story that is long and gripping. I felt really good having watched it. I've never seen a Diamond concert, besides in videos. And I listened to his music since the 70s. 

There are also underlying themes in the movie, to keep on having hope, to work out problems (if possible) and to show love to the best of your abilities. At least that's what I took from it. I may watch it again!!

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It sort of inspired me to stay up way past my bedtime and to start something new. I got creative again. Blogging at least. Life in Durango has started as my new blog this week.

I've felt lots of connection with other bloggers lately, probably as I told of my life moving to a new town. There sure have been supportive comments as I dealt with all the details. But I've also been ignoring the issues that matter most to my life.

Have those things become less important? Goddesses, climate change, women's issues, the environment, politics? Perhaps they had to take a back seat as I "settled into a new place." But I still was aware of them. So I'm going to be posting more here again (already started) while shifting the Durango life to a new blog!

It feels good as of now. Oh and I had to name a new blogspot address, I'm now durangobarb.blogspot.com. I've been blackmtnbarb for 19 yars or so. And before that boardwalkbarb! Now I can try to belong here. It will take a while, I suspect! I love how the syllables look different, like dur-an-gob-arb!

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Thankful Thursday

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The pulmonary test was yesterday, I didn't do that well. This morning I meet the new pulmonologist. I am feeling pretty down about my prospects of beating the breathing limitations. Wish me luck and everything else that might influence my health.

Let's be serious then let’s be creative

 

From Katharine Hayhoe's newsletter, "Talking Climate"

In late April, in the coastal city of Santa Marta, Colombia, something remarkable happened. Representatives from 57 countries from across the globe gathered for the first-ever conference dedicated to transitioning away from fossil fuels.

 
After three decades of UN climate negotiations and still-rising emissions, many countries have had enough. As COP30 in Belem wrapped up last November, Colombia and the Netherlands announced they were co-hosting this new conference to provide a kind of practical reckoning: what does leaving fossil fuels behind actually look like, and how do we collectively get there? 
 
The conference was inspired by the Fossil Fuel Treaty, a concept developed by my fellow Canadian and lifetime climate advocate, Tzeporah Berman. She explains it here so perfectly, you’ll wonder why everyone doesn’t see it as a no-brainer!
 
“We decided not to resign ourselves to an economy built on the destruction of life. We decided that the transition away from fossil fuels could no longer remain a slogan but must become a concrete, political and collective endeavour,” said Irene Vélez Torres, chair of the talks and Colombia’s environment minister. “When people look back on us from the future, they will remember whether or not we rose to the challenge of our time.”
 
The countries who showed up represent over half of global GDP, roughly one-third of energy demand, and about 20% of fossil fuel supply. They describe themselves as the “coalition of the willing” and all pledged to develop voluntary roadmaps for drawing down their fossil fuel use.

Next year’s conference will take place in Tuvalu co-hosted by Ireland, and participating countries have been asked to have drafted their roadmaps by then. 

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Tuvalu is an archipelagic country in the Polynesian sub-region of Oceania in the Pacific Ocean, about midway between Hawaii and Australia. It lies east-northeast of the Santa Cruz Islands (which belong to Solomon Islands), northeast of Vanuatu, southeast of Nauru, south of Kiribati, west of Tokelau, northwest of Samoa and Wallis and Futuna, and north of Fiji.

Tuvalu is composed of three reef islands and six atolls spread out between the latitude of 5° and 10° south and between the longitude of 176° and 180°. They lie west of the International Date Line. The 2022 census determined that Tuvalu had a population of 10,643, making it the 194th most populous country, exceeding only Niue and the Vatican City in population. Tuvalu's total land area is 25.14 square kilometres (9.71 sq mi).

Today I'm sharing a far-off bit of environmental interest. Not exactly far-out as we hippies used to say.

In my own life I'm moving toward dependence upon the real people in my life, sorry blogger friends. Yes you are definitely important, but when I need a ride, or help deciding what to pack, or even packing, or definitely how to get from here to there...I need people who are walking around within my own region. Not Tuvalu-ans. Not bloggers who I know and love, but only interact with a few minutes a day. Sorry guys and gals.

So if I'm missing in making comments, just know I'm reading as many blogs as this defunct program posts...and if I don't even post daily, I'm still here! I now understand how and why so many bloggers have backed slowly away.

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My steadily improving health is somewhat remarkable. Before pneumonia I would at times be a bit light headed, and walked around holding onto furniture inside. Outside I'd get out of breath easily. I spoke to several doctors/nurses about this, and one prescribed an anti-nausea drug, which also can make one sleepy (Meclizine)

I've learned sleepy side effects mean this is a central nervous system depressant, which is not good for my breathing needs. So that's put away for now.

And after sitting around the first 4 weeks post hospitalization, I am now having consistent 93 pulse ox readings, no matter what I'm doing. I'm not using the oxygen for moving around any of the daytime.  I don't get out of breath walking across the parking lot to the mailboxes most days. There are still some ups and downs.

Bronchiectasis may not go away, and I still will continue to encourage the healthy coughing to clear my lungs with various devices and drugs. Yet having days with minimal coughing means my energy can be used in other pursuits!

The other day I dusted my bedside table and lampshade. Whew, did they need it. Since I don't have a regular cleaner, I am doing what I can when I can. Baby steps.

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We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

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What if, when we write we are participating in Earth’s generativity—the same exact process that creates trees and insects, clouds and flowers—creativity itself?

To some writers, words seem to come from above. When Joseph Heller, the author of Catch-22, was asked about how he began writing a new work, he said: “I don’t understand the process of imagination—though I know that I am very much at its mercy. I feel that these ideas are floating around in the air and they pick me to settle upon.” Similarly, the novelist Henry Miller thought artists were people who had antennas attached to their heads that were hooked up “to the currents which are in the atmosphere, in the cosmos,” and that all the elements that go into a great novel or poem “are already in the air” just waiting for us to give them voice.

For me, writing is a gesture of the body, a gesture of creativity, a working from the inside out,” wrote Gloria Anzaldúa in Light in the Dark / Luz en lo Oscuro. “The material body is center, and central. The body is the ground of thought. The body is a text. Writing is not about being in your head; it’s about being in your body.”

Of course, what happens beneath our skin and inside our skulls is connected to everything else. Our bodies need water and the energy from glucose to function, glucose that ultimately comes from photosynthesis: the miracle of plants pulling sugar out of sunlight in the sky.

IT’S TEMPTING TO ASSUME, especially when we use misleading terms like “the cloud” to describe digital storage, that ChatGPT generates words out of thin air. But AI is just as industrial as car manufacturing and mechanizes the written word to the point of absurdity. Like our human bodies, ChatGPT requires water, earth, minerals, and electricity. Once, I asked my students to spend five minutes writing about the internet as a place. None of them described, or even imagined, data centers.

From:

IN DEFENSE OF GENERATION(S)

by Stephanie Krzywonos

Emergence Magazine

I could rant...

 I could rant about health insurance not recognizing my primary care doctor, and listing someone that I've never seen nor heard of. I could rant about insurance telling me to contact the doctor's office to tell them to get the Dr. to send in certification to the insurance company.

I could rant but I won't. 

Well maybe a little rant. I am really tired of this situation. I have an appointment for a yearly exam which was made 6 months ago when I first saw this new primary care doctor. Today the parent company through another department called to say she wasn't listed as my PCP (primary care provider.) So I called both insurance and various people at the PCP office.

I thought, as I was on hold at one or another call, that I could just die of a heart attack and none of these clowns would know or care!

I still am waiting for the credentials to be sent to the insurance, and then the doctor's office will call ME to call the insurance again to make sure they recognize her as my PCP so I can see her.

I can't stress enough to the people (clowns?) at Advent Health, that these are their job tasks, not mine.

What happened to customer's being right? Why are so many of these folks in the midst of "that's not my department?"

It reminds me of checking out at the laundry re-filling-station...where you can buy non-scented washing sheets. I put the box of sheets in front of me on a tiny little counter, and the woman standing there continued talking with another young woman who works there (also behind the counter to define her roll.) Second woman left and the first asked for me to pay $38. I asked her why it was so much, and she explained the total was for an item sitting on the counter plus my box of sheets...and I said, I didn't want the first thing, it had been sitting there before I arrived. I didn't say when she ignored me and continued talking with the other employee. As a customer, I was not only ignored, then someone else's purchase was being added to mine. She finally took off the extra item and I paid my $24 plus tax.

It seems to be a day when I have invisibility. 

I'm even wearing red.

I'm waiting for important calls to set up more lung tests, and then probably more antibiotics. I may or may not decide to have that treatment. After looking it up on line, yes, the Mayo Clinic and other medical sites, I don't see that all the bother will actually be worth it. But I'll perhaps need to address this fungus. We shall see.

What do you think those squares in the foreground are?

I was looking out a second story window, and they are roofing tiles. Kind of neat optical illusion, eh?

Please forgive my rant. 

Nobody has called back that said they would today. Maybe tomorrow. 

I'm glad that I went to the post office, got my detergent, and had coffee with a friend at the second place we tried because suddenly the first one closes on Tuesdays. Well, suddenly to us, anyway.

May all who are over 60 stand up and wave that we're not invisible! We demand to be noticed! And don't close when we want to enjoy chatting over a cuppa! And please please please, get those other people to call back when they say they will.

OK, some of these things we have no control over. 

Not reading about politics

 I have all these wonderful comentators who have daily emailed newsletters...as well as the big initialed people who give talking points called "Five Things You Need To Know."

So I've just deleted the political ones each day, and am gradually removing the subscriptions. Ever since the GOP took over Congress, and tRump was in court...the news just wasn't anything I had any interest in. The Democrats would evaluate the situation, come up with reasons it was not good, and go on into how they could have done better.

Local news, local politics - I pay big bucks (for me) to get streamed through YouTube TV on my streaming-only new TV. It might also be available if I had an attena still. Anyway, I filter out the local murder stories and highway mahem usually, and want to know where new construction is happening, or different non-profits have new efforts, or the actions regarding the young people arrested in December for helping the homeless. Yes, I've got my local interests!

I do also select BBC and CBS and NPR stories about international and some national news.

And sometimmes I see things when scrolling through Facebook that means something newsworthy is happening. 

I have dedicated the rest of my life to serving environmental issues, so I do read about lots of those...and there are more that I don't know about yet and would love to follow! My dedication doesn't mean much actually...just talking with others mainly (here, on Facebook, in meetings).

I am overwhelmed by the many gun deaths reported.

I am overwhelmed by gory details of any violence, anywhere.

After all I'm 80 years old. I don't have most of my life ahead of me, but behind me. And in that time, the memories of any violent news has faded into a file I call "things I would rather forget."

I still have lots of items in my mental file of "Things Worth Remembering."

As some scientists, or maybe spiritual leaders have said, we only have so much room in our brains. 

What happened to the ones that said we only use 50% of our brains' capacity?

Anyway, while on the subject of brains, I did try the several over-the-counter products that supposedly help with brain function. For 6 months at least. Nada.

I think having a healthy diet, getting fresh air and as much exercise as I'm able to do have been the best things for my brain health. Just my opinion. Remember this blog is where I share my opinions. But you are welcome to comment, which I will definitely read.

 I have lost a bit of weight while dealing with pneumonia, and I would like to keep it off. I mentioned that to my Chronic Care Coodinator today (we talk once a month about my health goals and any new developments.) He said he had studied nutrition before his medical studies to become a Physicians Assistant...and he'd be happy to help me if I want to continue to gradually lose weight. Diet for plant based food is really hard for me. So I asked him to be my coach. 

And tonight I ate a Burger King Impossible Whopper (plant based, tastes like hamburger.) Not that great since it's full of oils, but it really does taste like a hamburger. I don't usually want that sandwich anyway. I tossed out the white bread bun. Lettuce and tomato were very scant.

September song

Such lovely weather. But that's not all that's good in my life right now.

I spent Sunday afternoon sitting on the desk greeting people who visited the Red House Art Gallery. The weather might have been the reason there weren't that many visitors. And they whizzed through so fast, it was as if they had looked for a specific thing and not found it.

The other gratefulness I'm feeling is that my health is being pretty good. I'm taking naps as needed, and eating pretty well.  I've got a chest c.t. scan this week, keeping track of my lungs for my pulmonologist. Bronchiectasis - needing to cough to clear mucus frequently.  If the coughing weren't so noisy I could go where people are more often. As it is, at least once a day when I'm out, I have to remind people that I'm not catching, it's a chronic cough.

So I'm patting myself on my back for having slowly, and with lots of breaks, been able to walk to the lookout on top of Mt. Mitchell last Thurs.  Yay me.

I love September. It used to mean (way back maybe in the 60s) going back to school.  Nowadays it happens in August everywhere.  But rejoining the scholastic community has always been exciting and rejuvenating for me. I'm still taking Spanish, though it's not quite as hard as it could be, not having a teacher but just a bunch of seniors trying to enjoy what they can learn, while many times we can't remember even English words! Well, now that's become more important, in case I ever find myself helping shelter someone who ICE is looking for. So now I want to be able to say a few important things.  But I know some members of the Spanish class would want ICE to arrest illegal immigrants, so I won't be practicing those sentences in class!

There was one summer that I quit my job and spent 3 months traveling and camping with my oldest 2 sons over 10,000 miles. A lot of driving for me (at age 32). But other than that, I haven't had "summer off" or "summer vacations." I would work through summers. And when I retired...well, I have vacation time every day, but I volunteer almost every day.

Goodness this has gone on and on!

Another weather report - how dull

My life has been put on some kind of hold.  I don't do what I plan to do. I can't get into the BMCA clay studio till Monday because of flooding.  That's ok.

 I need to lie down and take a nap at least once a day.  And lying down I just fall asleep and wake up and go back to sleep for hours.  Drat and darn.

So that's how I'm not doing what a week ago I thought I would be doing.

I'm also eating easy fixing things...lots of soup, toast, bagels, fruit, and some fast food.  I have the fixings for a good soup, but haven't cleaned up the kitchen for a few days.  So it's not a good idea to make a bigger mess yet.

Maybe soon.

See, my health report is duller than the weather report.  Snow is mostly gone now, after a day and half of steady rain, light but cold.

At the end of my rope

I've seen it, grasped it firmly, but then let it slip through my fingers.  The end of my rope, the place where I just can't take it any more.  (Unknown, ambiguous "IT".)

But the IT I've been dealing with is just my health issues.  I don't think all older people spend half this amount of time concerning health.  I certainly don't like doing it myself.  So I ask your forgiveness for my continuing drama, and if you don't wish to hear my whining, just skip reading all the following.

When the side effects from the latest round of non-specific treatments hit, I folded.  Antibiotics are often a good idea, and often not at all a good idea...especially since I get a yeast infection from hell when I take them.  Having cat scans of lungs, once was fine.  Having probes stuck up my nose (after it had been thankfully numbed)...all ok.

But when a possible torn rotator cuff starts to wake me up by pains in my whole rib cage, there's something else happening.  My doctors couldn't figure it out when it came up several years ago...and finally treated me for "shingles pain without a rash."  So now I'm taking football size pills for that.

If I didn't have relief....  if a course of antibiotics gave me a recurrance of shingles, and the awful yeast infection...yep, I'd sure be at the end of my rope.

Did I mention the cough from hell hasn't improved?  The snot (excuse me, mucous) sample was sent from my nose off to the lab and showed no infection, so the antibiotics weren't treating anything.

I love ranting here, because it's almost anonymous.  But then sometimes someone says something that's very helpful...so I listen to comments.  

Pain medications are all "over the counter" and I'm grateful for some relief.  Hot showers help too. And I can have days without the cough also.  Today seems good.  When I get tired, or whenever I lie down in the evening because I'm tired...the cough comes back.  Apparently a cough isn't a condition.  It's the result of another condition.  And over-the-counter drugs are all I get...there aren't any prescriptions that are hiding behind the costly specialists.

So relief is either through assuming it's allergy related (generic Clariten-D) or treating the symptom of thickened mucous with Musinex.  And nasal sprays.  And continue using inhalers for the Asthma and the COPD.  The cat-scan confirmed some enlargement of bronchial tubes.   

So I've got my rope in hand again.

Going to go make some soup.
I told one doctor I use herbal teas to good effect.  He smiled with that "that's nice, dear," look.  They do give relief.  All the over-the-counter drugs do too.  But nothing seems to cure what I have.

When I was 72

Contrary to the name of this blog, I continued to count my birthdays.  I thought my 69th year was pretty momentous, thus started the blog.

But year after year continues to have lots of ups and downs.

I'm not doing a new blog each year, so I hope my blogland friends can just bare with me.  Or is that bear with me?

So here I yam a couple of months into another year if I count them on my birthdays.  I still live independently, and have a wonderful group of real and virtual friends...you know which one you are.
I go through stages of journaling my life, like reading Tarot cards.  Sometimes it feels right, sometimes not.  I stay involved in my church though I may have different opinions at times.

I've returned to the Black Mountain Clay Studio most days, where I try to push myself to do something I  want to do (I almost said need)...to try new things, to share with friends there.  I have a studio at home where I can throw or glaze or hand built.  I've got a small group of other potters (Mud Buddies) who I share summer sales with on Saturdays, and that season is winding down.

I've started a new informal partnership with another potter for showing at a couple of venues other than the Saturday markets.  We both are motivated by financial needs.

And occasionally I take day trips with various friends.   This Sunday we're going to the Spruce-Pine Potters Market...one of the best in the area with potters from the mountains sharing their wares.  The show starts on Saturday...10-5, but I'll be going to Black Mountain's Tailgate market then.

And my health continues to be a concern...needing more attention than expected, in almost unexpected ways.  Drat.  And dang.  And dang-bat too!  It makes it hard to do other things besides blogging.  When I have the worst other symptoms, (usually, knock on wood) I can still type on the computer. 

I am so glad to sometimes have comments in exchange (usually with folks from Sepia Saturday).  Anytime you want to comment on what I've posted, just click the "Comments" link at the bottom of the page, where either "no comments" or perhaps #__ comments is the tag.

It's summer, so?

I'm spending the rest of the weekend working on my own health.

Notice the spindly look to those pansies now that summer has given them a week of 80s and thunderstorms most afternoons.  This morning very early, I planted the first coleus in with them, and will add the other 3 as soon as their roots are established.

I cut back the mint that was threatening to block entrance to the house.  So the steps are now clear on that side anyway.  Now there's a pile of peppermint on the dining room table.  Since I don't have a dining room, nor a kitchen table...it's the one in the living room (in case you've actually visited me!)

Health issues will not be discussed here.  If I broke a leg.  If I had a gall bladder out (already been there, done that.)  If I had a nervous breakdown (already been there, done that.)  If I was just being checked out without symptoms...ok, you get the message.  For my friends who know and support me going through the Irritible Bowel Syndrome...thanks.  For the rest of you, I'll let you keep your 10-year-old bathroom humor intact.  And I'll just go through what I have to go through.  Aren't you glad?

There are some limits to what I see as acceptable social sharing.  I think that's appropriate.