If you can't read that...

  

Go to the eye doctor...and pretty photo with illegible description!

At another eye doctor’s.  This one a real doctor, M.D.  He gave me new instructions to deal with the 2 tiny chalazions on my lower eyelid. Three new things to do, among which are back to warm compresses. I have to go to drug store to get gel drops to take before sleep when the CPAP leaves me with dry eyes, and some sterile eye cleansing pads! Glad his assistant wrote them down for me. And even more glad that he doesn’t see a need to do surgical treatment at this point. Come back in 6 weeks.

As to why I've had fuzzy or blurred vision that resolved, apparently both the optometrist and ophthalmologist haven't an answer...with the standby answer of "aging."

Waiting for dilation at eye doc. Yes, I need my hair styled! But hey, other parts of the body seem more important these days!

Geese, getting old ain’t for the (what?) I think weary…though I feel quite that way as I left his office and drove to the Pulmonary Rehab. There I squeaked in a bit late,  with my eyes still dilated! Education class was on food that day, and I was quite interested, since I was on a plant based diet after my heart attack in 2020, but now eat more chicken and fish, and occasional pork. I really need to put more veggies into my diet (message to myself!) The Pulm Therapist says the Mediterranean diet is promoted for heart healthy diet still.

Then I did arm exercises and skipped using weights or my right arm, still babying the stitches on my shoulder from the skin surgery a week ago. Tomorrow (written Wed) I get stitches out. Friday I’ll be back at rehab again. But will slowly work on being able to use the right arm. The therapist gave me a good way to do that, by walking my fingers up a wall slowly, going as far as feels good. He was quite encouraging of my stopping doing things which gave me trouble.

So I switched from one machine to another when my knees were bothering me. And I quit when I felt tired.

At least I did get 15 minutes of treadmill walking in. That wore me out! 

And I continue on lower oxygen this week, which has tested to be adequate with the little finger device. That means (in my mind) that I am becoming more acclimated to the altitude here and may be able to be off of it in a short while. I tried one whole morning without, and then noticed feeling a bit mentally challenged (you can laugh here!)

A quick run through McD’s for an apple pie and diet Dr. Pepper, then home through some rather heavy traffic, a bit of a surprise at 3:30. 

So that is how I spent the day after the election!

So glad that’s over! The politics. What a waste of money.

I am grateful this week that I was able to get next year's Medicare Advantage plan chosen, though it still will leave me with gaps in coverage which I'll have to scrounge to pay for things myself. There's always something in dealing with insurance.

If I sound a bit narcissistic with all my doctors and physical therapies, sorry. But if you don't have your health (as they say) how can you do anything?

I live around seniors who are wheelchair bound still living independently. I've gotten used to being grateful to be able to walk still, and have patience with these folks (some younger than myself) when their limited lives mean they are going slower getting places. 

We are all just walking each other home, as Ram Dass said.

Still decorated at eye doc on Nov 4th!

Ancestors remembered

  

An altar for the ancestors, with the Mexican use of marigolds, portraits, favorite foods, sweets, scents to please the memories of those who have gone before.

Some of my ancestors to remember on Dia de los Muertos...the Day of the Dead, on November 1st or 2nd...

Ada Rogers, my paternal grandmother, George Rogers, my father, and Mataley Rogers, my mother.

My mother's great grandfather was William Lewis Booth.

He was my great times three grandfather; an attorney, a judge, a Texan, and a Spiritualist.

I wrote about him a few years ago on my Three Family Trees blog. 

His obituary tells a bit about William L. Booth's life. (Colonel is probably an honorific, a result of being a civic leader through the years of the Civil War, though nothing indicates he fought in the war.)

 

 

Here we find his personal religious beliefs...a Spiritualist.  "He was president of the Spiritual association of Texas during the life of that association." (Perhaps it was no longer active at the time of his death?)

But a Spiritualist religious leader, Rev. J. D. Shaw, came to officiate at his burial in Hillsboro TX from Waco TX.  

Col. William Booth (Feb 17, 1818 to Feb 24, 1894) was father of Richard Booth, who was father of Eugenia Booth Miller, who was mother of Mozelle Miller Munhall, who was mother of Mataley Munhall Rogers, my mother.

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Today there are different religions being recognized from all parts of the world. Spiritualism isn't as active as it once was, where people would contact the spirits of their dead loved ones in a seance, or with a medium who might have used a crystal ball. 

I respect all the religions which have many different ways of thinking about the after-life. Nobody knows what really happens at that point. We die. We stop breathing and pumping blood and having electrical activity in our brains. But many people believe there is something more that continues, a spirit, a soul, or maybe a ghost.

I don't particularly like the way the after-life, the spirits, the ghosts are turned into scary subjects to frighten people in various movies and stories, and even all kinds of decorations for Halloween. 

Death isn't scary. It is just part of life. There are certainly more scary things that we all deal with every day...need I talk about current politics, hateful people, climate change, bigoted people, wars, diseases, or accidents which hit so many people?

Sepia Saturday shares a photo of a seance in 1920.

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History is a novel whose author is the people. 

-Alfred de Vigny, poet, playwright, and novelist (1797-1863)

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On a more personal note, I started both Physical Therapy to help with my gait, as well as Pulmonary Rehabilitation, to help with breathing more efficiently. COPD really limits my endurance or ability to even move about. The PT therapist found I wasn't using my core much in my walk, sitting or standing, so that will be addressed twice a week with her, as well as at home exercises.

Though I've had Pulmonary Rehab many years ago (2020) that time it was for the Bronchiectasis. (Say Bronk-ee-ect-ta-sis!) I haven't addressed the underlying COPD. That will also help me wean from constant oxygen use at this higher altitude...which is my goal, along with being able to walk more than 100 yards without getting out of breath. I'll go to the same place but different gym and be monitored for breathing twice a week for this.

Too much? I may think so each morning waking with stiff muscles. But so far they don't seem too bad, as I'm starting out very slowly. I'll let ya know!

One Door Closes...

 

Today I graduated from Pulmonary Rehab! 

I have been tested to see if I can walk further, or be able to do more modified squats (to standing from the edge of my chair.) And the results are being announced to my group of other patients.

I had a group that dwindled down while I was in rehab...whether people dropped out, were sick, or what, I don't know. So there were just 4 of us who graduated out of I think 6 who started together.

I noticed that a huge group (say 18 or so) patients are doing the cardiac rehab on the same days we do...MW & F afternoons. They are doing lots of exercises wearing those heart monitors, then have some sitting balancing and stretching training, and then do a few minutes of quiet meditation...much like the Ornish program, only just a few minutes to do "stress management." Ornish had an hour, with yoga and breathing techniques, then at least 15-20 min. of deep meditation. But I'm glad those folks are learning the importance of reducing stress in order to be more healthy.

The really sad part of all this, is having seen so many sick people be served in Heart Path...where cardiac rehab is offered. It reminds me of the hospital where a whole wing of a floor had nothing but cardiac patients. This is the number one cause of death for lots of us...whether looking at elders, or those who are obese...or just women. And I was all of those!  And the list of cardiologist doctors on the wall at the entrance to the Heart Path building is staggering.

I see all the folks in rehab, or in rooms at the hospital, or in a waiting room at a cardiologists office, and think, some of these folks aren't going to make it. And I have no way of knowing who's more likely to live several more years or not. I wonder if the technicians can tell.

I'm glad I'm not in a medical profession these days.

On a final note, not exactly uplifting unfortunately. The Ornish program is being put on hold as of December. The owners of our hospital and rehab facilities (Mission was bought by "for-profit" Hospital Corporation of America, HCA) are probably looking at the bottom line of the cardio rehab business. And if it doesn't make a profit for them, they may not want to continue offering it. Just think like this (I'm ashamed to say I do think like this)..."why keep these heart attack survivors alive longer, when a second heart operation would mean  more billable surgeries and beds full in the hospital?"

And now I'm going to just live my life one day at a time, including somewhere I can go exercise at least 3 times a week. Yesterday I signed up at our local YMCA. It's a bit smaller than the gym at the Heart Path center...but there's someone who can show me how to use some of the things I haven't used. And there's a heated pool. Of course there's no wearing masks in the pool, so I probably won't use it till Covid is behind us.

Speaking of which...the stats are ugly for today. Even though vaccines are apparently beginning to be available...there is talk that they will only last for a year. For now, I am skeptical that I'll get the vaccine right away. We shall see.

From the window

 At the Rehab gym at Mission Cardiac Center...third floor. I've been working out there for 3 months now, doing first cardio rehab for 9 weeks, and now my 8 weeks of pulmonary rehab is almost over.

This view is noteworthy, that the mountains in the distance actually include Mt. Mitchell. That's the highest mountain in the eastern US...though of course my little phone camera doesn't indicate which one it is. Probably a bit of zoom might help...

The mountain with a big radio tower on it is right next to Mt. Mitchell, and some with very good eyes can see that. I just only "kinda" saw it.

The last time I had my photo taken 2018...at Mt. Mitchell. And you can see some of the weight I've happily lost! Down 25 pounds from there!

I'm going to be joining a YMCA here in Black Mountain in order to keep exercising during the winter months. I do feel better, and have lost some of the extra weight my bad eating habits helped put on. Now I eat low-fat plant based foods. And meditate daily again. And make efforts to stay in touch with friends so we can support one another with fun and shoulders to cry on as needed.

Hope you have a good day.  Yesterday the rain from Hurricane Zeta arrived before dawn...though we won't feel as much of the storm as those on the Gulf coast will. 

Today's Quote:

The irony of hiding the dark side of our humanness is that our
secret is not really a secret at all.  How can it be when we're all
safeguarding the very same story?  That's why Rumi calls it an
Open Secret.  It's almost a joke - a laughable admission that each
one of us has a shadow self - a bumbling, bad-tempered twin.

Big surprise!  Just like you, I can be a jerk sometimes.  I do unkind,
cowardly things, harbor unmerciful thoughts, and mope around
when I should be doing something constructive.  Just like you,
I wonder if life has meaning;  I worry and fret over things that I
can't control; and I often feel overcome with a longing for
something that I cannot even name.  For all of my strengths and

gifts, I am also a vulnerable and insecure person, in need of
connection and reassurance.  This is the secret I try to keep from
you, and you from me, and in doing so, we do each other a grave
disservice.

Rumi tells us that the moment we accept what troubles we've been
given, the door will open.  Sounds easy, sounds attractive, but it is
difficult, and most of us pound on the door to freedom and happiness
with every manipulative ploy save the one that actually works.  If

you're interested in the door to the heavens opening, start with the
door to your own secret self.  See what happens when you offer to
another a glimpse of who you really are.  Start slowly.  Without
getting dramatic, share the simple dignity of yourself in each moment -
your triumphs and your failures, your satisfaction and your sorrow.

Face your embarrassment at being human, and you'll uncover a deep
well of passion and compassion.  It's a great power, your Open Secret.

When you heart is undefended you make it safe for whomever you
meet to put down his/her burden of hiding, and then you both can
walk through the open door.

Elizabeth Lesser
from: Broken Open