Some personal notes on heart

 This view shows the LAD, or left anterior descending (or interventricular) artery, which feeds the heart itself.

That's where they gave me a stent, and the photo my cardiologist showed me (not this one) was a heart without any LAD. He said that's what mine had looked like before the stent was applied. Someone in my treatment mentioned this heart attack was known as "the widow-maker." So I'm incredibly thankful to be alive.

It's pretty incredible that they found that problem by running a tiny scanning device with a camera at the end, up my right brachial artery from my wrist to my heart. And somehow, by then I was asleep thank heaven, they put the stent in the same way. The only opening I had was that tiny cut on my wrist. How simple surgery now is and almost non-invasive.

I had my heart attack out of the blue 4 years ago. No afib. But pain in my neck kept me from sleeping for 2 days, and I went to my regular MD (as a walk-in patient) who changed my BP meds, and maybe told me something about using pain relievers. The pain relievers over the counter had not worked and I was exhausted from being awake and in pain, some coughing which is chronic for me. Finally on evening of 3rd day a friend drove me to ER, and after the 2nd EKG (MD's office EKG was vague) and several tests of blood they determined a heart attack, and gave me a stent on the LAD artery which feeds the heart. If the EKG from the MD's office had been accurate, they would have sent me to the hospital two days earlier. Yes, this was an ongoing event, not sharp and accute!

Women don't always have symptoms like men! That's the main underlining point here. I'd tell each physician I saw about excruciating pain in my neck and shoulders. Some tightness felt in chest. That was the way I got treated as a heart patient...otherwise they would have left me in the waiting room with everyone else. Heart patients do get immediate care.

I'm not going into all the details about being given care in the second month that COVID hit all the hospitals...and my having COPD and bronchiectasis (a chronic cough.) I've talked about that elsewhere.

I just hope women will take seriously heart problems that appear as non-traditional pains especially if they already have high blood pressure or other indicators that might lead to heart attacks.

I have changed my diet and now exercise much more regularly, and have lost about 20 pounds in the last 4 years.

Keep on ticking, all you lovely heart beating women (and men too)!!

Today's quote:

The more we practice settling our minds, the easier it will become over time.

The LAD artery and emotions

There it is, the Left Anterior Descending artery...

LAD on the right side of this photo, where my stent was placed

I have now learned it's position, but I still don't know much about heart function. Isn't it a bit strange to have such a wonderful organ pumping blood throughout my body, but I don't know much about it?  Guess what this student will be focused upon in the very near future?  But I won't bore you with it.

I will however say that with all the drugs I've been on for the last week (none of which were to either relieve pain or change my mood) I have had the usual deep thoughts. Deep thoughts also come when sleeplessness happens, usually due to various tests that had to be run every hour or so.

The heart is considered by poets and artists as the seat of our passions, our love we have toward others, the emotional center.

But just look at that ...a quivering mass of muscle working to move blood around.

So I thought of how for several years I've been missing any passion in my life. Joy, great and deep compassion, enthusiasm, sorrow...but not much passion. Was this from having that artery get blocked more and more? Was part of my pushy personality from trying so hard to push blood through that little space? (Friends can attest to this truth.)

I remember the first hours of being hospitalized, when they knew something was happening with my heart, but they couldn't figure out where or how. My personal experience was of having difficulty breathing due to the cough, and having many memories in my inner eyes, some of which I would tell to go away. I got many ancestors, and told them I wasn't planning on joining them soon. I let go of all my own decisions and turned everything over to the caregivers, knowing that a greater caregiver was in charge not only of myself but their hands as well.

I also saw the confusion and pain in their eyes as they confronted their own fears of Covid-19. I was given The Test; it meant 3 people in the room, one of whom was apparently being trained. Then the person in charge had to tell me the hospital couldn't run the test themselves because their lab was out of "re-agent." So it would be 24-48 hours after the test was sent to an outside lab. That was just the way it was. (But that changed, as so often happens!)

One of those people had great tattoos along his arm, and while I was being probed through my nose to  my brain for 10 seconds, he told me to hold his hand. Yes, in those crazy "no touch" times, he offered his gloved hand to squeeze. It helped.

And since I told them I hadn't eaten for 12 hours, he came back with some crackers and ginger ale for me a few minutes later. That meant putting on another gown each time he came into my room. I don't know his name, but he was truly a "helper" which I told him. He said he knew exactly who Mr. Rogers was, as he had grown up in Pittsburg.

I told each of the helpers how I appreciated their being "front line" personnel, being out in the trenches doing what they knew how to do in order to help each sick person. I think they appreciated that I took time to discuss the pandemic with them. I made good connections with almost every one of them. What brave and talented people are in the medical profession!