And on a more serious note:

End of Life documents!! Seems a good time of year to post this list.

 forwarded by my Wiccan friend...Byron Ballard, H/t Daniella Waterhawk

How many have you done?

IMPORTANT information to get your affairs in order.

Make sure all bank accounts have direct beneficiaries. The beneficiary need only go to the bank with your death certificate and an ID of their own.

TOD = Transfer On Death deed if you own a home. Completing this document and filing it with your county saves your heirs THOUSANDS. This document allows you to transfer ownership of your home to your designee. All they need to do is take their ID and your death certificate to the county building and the deed is signed over. Doing this will avoid the home having to go through probate.

Living Will: Allows one to put in writing exactly what you want done in the event you cannot speak for yourself when it comes to healthcare decisions as well as other final decisions.

Durable Power of Attorney: Allows one to designate a person to make legal decisions if one is no longer competent to do so.

Power of Attorney for Healthcare: This document allows one to designate someone to make healthcare decisions for their person.

Last Will and Testament: Designates to whom personal belongings will go too.

Funeral Planning Declaration: Allows one to say exactly one’s wishes as far as disposition of the body and the services.

If the above documents are done, you can AVOID probate.

If all the above is NOT done, you have to open an estate account at the bank. All money that doesn’t have direct beneficiaries goes into this account. You have to have an attorney to open the estate account. The attorney also has to publicize your passing in the newspaper or post publication at the county courthouse, to allow anyone to make a claim on your property. - It’s a complete PAIN.

Make a list of all banks and account numbers, all investment institutions with account numbers, lists of credit cards, utility accounts, etc. Leave clear instructions as to how and when these things are paid.

Make sure heirs knows where life insurance policies are located.

Make 100% sure SOMEONE knows your Apple ID, bank ID, account logins and passwords!

Make sure you have titles for all vehicles, campers, etc.!

Set up a trust for intended beneficiaries that are too young, and appoint a trustee of said trust.

MOST IMPORTANTLY!!!! - Talk with those closest to you and make all your wishes KNOWN. Talk to those whom you’ve designated, as well as those close to you whom you did not designate. - Do this to explain WHY your decisions were made and to avoid any lingering questions or hurt feelings.

Hope this helps! Hope this lights a spark to encourage all your friends and family to take care of these things to make it easier for those we all leave behind!

My hope is that the above list at least helps you start an important conversation with your loved ones...

If you knew how many more days you would live...

What would you want to do?
Many people say, just do whatever I was doing already...being with family, going on small trips, maybe working on one project or another.

And some people would do the "bucket list" thing...the big things that meant a lot to them that they hadn't had a chance to do yet.

Main St. Deadwood, SD, 1876

Then there are folks like me, dealing with ancestors all the time, so aware of the many people that have given me my own life, and they are all dead.  I look at their headstones through photos on line.  I also read a blog about elders, which some days touches on death, preparation for it, and being those who are around it and are survivors of some loved one's death.  The person who writes that blog is currently dying of pancreatic cancer.  It is a surprisingly rich experience for the blogging readers.

Booth Monument, Stratford, Fairfield Co, CT

So today I toy with a choice about this blog. Quite honestly, nobody seems interested in it.  Almost nobody ever comments, unless I share it over on 52 Ancestors, or Sepia Saturday.  Actually they are few and far between in commenting.  And they aren't really interested in my family trees.

I spend hours before each posting, looking over at Ancestry at the many hints on each person in a family...and trying to determine if this person by this name is the right one, or maybe another one by that name who lived around the same time.  It's incredibly confusing in early Colonial America, and even more so in England.  There were cousins of the same name, and uncles, and grandchildren...not to mention the headaches of women who weren't recorded by anything but a first name often.

So I think of why I'm doing what I'm doing. 

1. To know the truth.  That's a big reason.  Somehow that is a fundamental part of my searches.  To record it as best I can of course, after I figure it out.

2. To make discoveries.  I recently had an "ah ha" moment.  It meant a connection to me.  Nobody else could share the excitement I had however.  But I knew something I hadn't before. Something made sense.

3. To spend my time recording a worthwhile bit of information.  Not just trivia.  Not to give anyone a laugh.

But then, what if nobody ever reads it?  Mmm, that's why I'm thinking of this right now, is it really just a lost cause?  I could be doing something else.  Making the most beautiful piece of sculpture ever.  Writing a wonderful story.  Meditating to become more holy/enlightened. Catching up on things I've put off for years.  Volunteering to help others more. Reading more. Cooking more. Hiking more. Taking photos more. Writing something else...

So the question before me today is...given I have a limited life-span (like we all do, completely ignorant of the actual time limit) should I spend hours a day putting this ancestry information together here?

The answer I first come up with, is it satisfying? Do I get joy from it?

Not so much, I guess.

So I think what I need to do is give myself a set amount of time a day that I will sit down and work on family history.  Then whatever amount of information is sifted through, I can have the sense that my work on it has been fruitful.  No matter what it is, an hour of it will provide some amount of information.  Let's say a quarter of a blog.  So 4 hours might produce a blog posting in total.

And the one hour of work will also produce some information onto my Ancestry pages too.

There's also that goal I set for Christmas last year. To produce a document of the family for my 3 sons, and their descendants (if they have any.)  It is somewhat depressing that they are growing up and not reproducing yet.  I wonder if I'll live long enough to have a great grandchild!  Oh well, just look at all my mother ancestors who saw so many children die before they became adults.  My life has been much longer already, and I've 3 healthy sons at least....the youngest will turn 40 this year!

Walker Sisters, Smoky Mountains National Park

I also tend to look at the birthdays of ancestors as the way I find whether I've written about them or not.  It takes me to most of them several times, and each time I look at their siblings or children a little deeper.  And I find many things that give clues to their own lives.  Elder parents often lived with their children who were grown...and that shows on census records.

OK, time to get away from the laptop for now.

I'll be back to write more about my next ancestor, Elizabeth Ufford Beers, on April 3...not here.  I do those posts on my other blog, Three Family Trees.

The Enlightened One (Part 2)

 

Panther and Felicia at The Enlightened One's home.  Later Panther came to let me care for her.

Medicine Wheel in The Enlightened One's back yard

I can't go into all the wonderful things that this woman did in her life, nor all the friends who came to visit and care for her in the last months of her life.  That would take another complete blog.  She spent more and more time writing her own journal, pulling sources from the internet, and sharing them with all of us.  She would always let me know whether or not she wanted a visit, but usually it was yes, when I called to ask if I could come over, or take her for an outing.

My time with her in her last year was such a blessing.

Quan Yin in the garden

Guru Satchidananda

We went to a spot on a nearby stream and made sculptures of rocks and leaves.

 We went out of town to a daytime women's singing concert produced by friends, and played in a river.

 

Amma, the Hugging Saint

She invited me for a Japanese tea ceremony in her garden.

We shared what we loved together, and we both took pictures.

The Enlightened One and her daughter share LOVE!

Then I went to CT to see my family, while she had more and more domestic needs, like meals, and medications, and care around the house.  A group of friends began to divide up the services that we could perform for her.

When I came home, I found that she needed a lot more care.  Her daughter was there more of the time, though she had a job and a dear husband who also took part in all of that was happening.

Visiting church for the last time - JOY

The Enlightened One on her porch

A picture I saw at The Enlightened One's memorial service

When The Enlightened One was ready to leave her body, she had great care from Hospice, as well as a group which especially helped with the transition. I believe they are called Transitions for the End of Life.

She left this earth on Sept. 13.  I sat with her for some of the time that day as she gradually left us.  Many friends came to say goodbye in person.

Her memorial service was held a couple of weeks later, at our church.  It was a great sharing of the friendships in her life, with a coming together of people who had known her, but not each other.  A FaceBook page had been started for all these new connections that had developed because of her influence on our lives.

 From the Ashram in VA came a picture of a double rainbow that probably occurred at the same time that she left her body.

Recently I spoke with another woman who said she just found out a friend has only a few months to live.  I made sure to tell her what a wonderful time I had as an "angel of transition" before The Enlightened One died, being part of the last year of her life, just doing what I could and learning so much from her.  It was truly uplifting.