Prevention of Emotional Depression

Since winter is when I tend to become depressed, especially around the holidays...I'm interested in learning how to avoid it! There were years I tried not celebrating...which made me depressed in doing so.

And there is a definite difference between being sad and being depressed. What do you think of that? For me I have sadness which can pass, an emotion often brought on by learning of a sad event, a death, a catastrophe, or even potential bad news. Depression happens more gradually and I lose energy, have different sleep patterns, appetite changes, and general loss of interest in the things/people in my life. I will realize it sometimes after weeks, that I'm really depressed again.

So I read things about how to avoid depression in the first place. And hope by doing 5 of the things listed below, I might make it through the winter this year.

SOURCE: NPR Health News

 Serious depression should be treated with medication and/or therapy. But a new study adds to a growing body of evidence tying behaviors to mental health. Researchers at Cambridge identified seven healthy habits that affect your mood. They looked at nearly 300,000 people in the UK Biobank database initiative and found that maintaining at least 5 of these habits could cut the risk of depression by 57%. Try adding some of these daily habits to your life: 

 Get 7-9 hours of sleep per night on average.

 Add more physical activity to your routine.
 Eat a balanced diet focused on plants, whole grains and lean proteins.
 Limit alcohol intake and don't smoke.
 Limit screen time to avoid being sedentary.
 Cultivate friendship and community through hobbies.

From the internet, when I searched for depressed elders. First search for depressed people only gave me young people.

Today's quote:

We have all built up a toolbox of unique tools to help us navigate life, we just need to use them.

Thanks Inge Look for the card painting

Memories and experiencing joy

  

Today's quote:

The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.  -Salvador Dali, painter (1904-1989) I thought briefly about this quote, then felt a deep ah-ha moment. I have definitely stored up a bunch of brilliantly technicolor memories, and only left a few of the dark ones, in sepia tones, to lurk in my brain. There are certainly times I've done someone wrong - and hopefully I've made whatever restitution I could by now. But there are still those memories!  And then there are the dark times more recently in my own experience...feeling like a very depressed individual, wanting to sleep many more than 8 hours a night/day...having no appetite, fighting a recurring fever than went away in a day. Yep, I know that happened to me off and on for months.  And I know the antidepressant meds didn't really solve the problem. But coming off them (over 2 weeks time) I actually felt better. It's like they had grabbed something inside my brain/emotional center...and took it out. I still wanted to sleep at least 10 hours a night...but didn't on the days I had something in the morning scheduled. Me attending a concert when I was about to be dianosed with pneumonia. And then I got full blown pneumonia...the fever coinciding with lungs on second Xray having some things that hadn't appeared back one the one in December. And 5 days of heavy duty antibiotics gave me clear breathing and no fever. I was back able to function normally in a couple of weeks time. I had an amazing lack of my usual daily coughing as well. I still was aware of not feeling any joy. I wasn't feeling particularly anything. Then suddenly the other day, I said to myself, what if there's just a joy button, or a specially sized opening in my being/brain which lets in the feeling of joy? Maybe I don't have to come up with it from inside myself, which seemed to be the message from other people. Maybe I can just sit here, my normal vegetative state, and wait for it to come hitting that spot in my brain. I like that. And I think I've felt a bit of joy since that concept. I sure can get sillier now. Relax better. And you've noticed all my photos of blossoms this spring. Now I feel the joy of their colors against the bright blue of skies. I find great joy in having fresh air coming in my windows, right off the many leaves of the maples outside. That's a nice hit of oxygen I think!  And being with productive people who are doing amazing things. It's so nice to know them, observe them, and maybe support them as best I am able. From authors to craftspeople...so much creativity! Then my dear orchids finally started dropping their blooms. They have lasted a really long time this year. The cycles of life! And of course I'm getting my cataracts removed, so now I have another joy...seeing the true colors of things! The second eye is healing nicely. Yes, I'm very grateful too, for this newfound sense of joy. I do intend to keep that little spot that welcomes it wide open to new things.

Three months ago feels like a year ago

  OK, this is my brainstorming...not quoting anyone who has better ideas.

Time really has changed drastically for me in the last, say, six months.

I was having lunch with my friend C, and we had gone with others on a particular outing. We both thought it must have been a year before the last. It definitely was a loooong time ago in both of our memories.

I pulled up my calendar and there it was, early October 2022. I had aready said that was our first trip in my new car, which was purchased sometime last Aug. or early Sept. Not a date I remember right off hand.

So we remembered the first place we went, that we made purchases there, so no difficulty remembering those details. It still felt like forever back in our lives, though by the calendar 3 months ago.

And then I remembered next we had had lunch at the Country Club...which had also slipped our minds. And then, wasn't there one more place we went?

Oh yes, the apple orchard! We had apple pie a la mode, and watched some clog dancers just practicing to a band that was just starting its set. I really don't remember how we came home, though it was along familiar roads about 30 miles away.

But why did it feel so long ago to both of us?

We thought about November. I think it just rolled along at the regular rate of doing things. Nothing special. I was engaged in a couple of interesting committees, had a few Dr. visits for this that and the other. I shrugged off Thanksgiving, and when my minister asked me if I had had a good one, I said "No." But it didn't really bother me.

Then there were the holidays...where time kind of stopped for both of us. We had major anxieties about the holidays (and we're not even related) mainly dealing with families. It was as if we fell into a well, where time went terrribly slowly, while we pushed ourselves to do what we thought we could, and just stopped at other things.

That well of time lasted till sometime in January, but I'm not totally out of it yet. I had my usual fever of no known cause, off and on, which happens every winter these days. It wasn't bad enough that I couldn't go to committee meetings and do blogs. And I did wrangle some antibiotics for the "if it gets worse- take before pneumonia" stage.

But then I lost my appetite a couple of weeks ago. So after 6 pounds lost, I went to my doc (whose office is across the street) and we tried an antidepressant. It didn't get me back into meetings. I keep on the blog, but you all don't know if I'm dressed or not!

I cancelled several medical tests...it was just too hard to drag myself into clothes, driving the 15 miles to Asheville, and dealing with all those people. I did one load of laundry...out of the 4 sitting there. The dishes are all dirty and my maid (me) hasn't done but one sinkfull. But that's one of each of those things, which might be a regular thing to do for other folks.

I also refused about 3 invitations from my friend for lunch. But yesterday I finally said yes, and we have a good habit of catching up with lots of things...deeper than the weather. The wait staff at the restaurant were a bit impatient, but it's not a rush at 3 o'clock. So that's when the trip in Oct. came up and we started looking at our time experiences.

We definitely saw a rush that peaked about the time we collapsed into our respective depressed and time stopping wells. And we see that some things are better for each of us. It's so slow to get out of this well. As C. said, it's like gaining weight is so easy, then it's so hard and tedious to lose weight with the diet you believe will work...but it takes a loooong time. For me the antidepressants have been stopped after reviewing some side effects with the doc. I also did the dishes today so maybe I'm getting better.

Another friend and I were talking about something I did when I retired 15 years ago. She said I definitely shouldn't expect to have that kind of energy now do I? Well, I said, it would be nice to be able to at least do what I did in 2019.

That meant lots of road trips. I won't go into details but I went to New Mexico and Colorado on one trip, to Columbus Ohio on another, and Tampa Florida for Christmas. Oh and there had been a wedding in Flordia in April also the same year, and of course I drove down and back!

I think because so much happened in 2019, my time was expanded to take it all in. It just was full to overflowing.

But the point of this rambling is that my passage of time speeded up, then practically stopped, and so just 3 months ago feels definitely like over a year ago.

And I just found this on FaceBook (what a source!) Can't be denied. So as of today we're moving into spring...don't have to wait till Feb. 1!!

Gratitude, depression, and wonderment

Reposting this description of a meditation. I was feeling depressed, and certainly not liking myself today (note, some weeks agao)..so looked for past uses of gratitude. Thinking I wouldn't have to rewrite my gratitude list, which usually helps me get out of depression. So I think I'll try this meditation from Jan 4, '21...it's nice and slow and doesn't require much effort...

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I was not following any guidance when meditating the other day...just had some background music going. Looking out the window at the fog as it lifted, first only being able to see the top of a power pole at Hwy. 70, then slowly having the ridge line of the mountain appear. The fog remained in the middle between these two points, a valley full of cloud. Somewhere down there the little Swannanoa River wanders back and forth through the valley that carries its name.

Some days my meditation just comes to me. Today, gratitude was top of my list.

Often meditation starts with deep breaths. And then awareness of parts of the body...starting with the feet, legs and going up each part. But today I started with my heart, then lungs. And from there I focused on each of the systems of my body...muscles, nerves, skin etc. I almost forgot the digestive and kidneys/bladder systems. I did remember hair and finger nails.  

Anyway, it was good to be grateful for all the wonderful pieces that make up this pie called Barbara. What amazing things homo sapiens are.

My winter-time view of the mountains.

And the summertime view out my living room windows.

Today's quote:

Moving in the flow of compassion and deepening enquiry,
we engage with all beings in ways that support the integrity,
the stability and the beauty of the entire living world.

Engaging with this [flow] of birthing/dying living,
embracing it, surrendering to it, [we find that] the mystery
is tremendously integrated.
It is extraordinarily stable.  It has been in action for
billions of years.  It is breath-stoppingly beautiful in
all its vulnerability...

My medicine is wonderment...

Tarchin Hearn

Excerpts from: 
The Dharma of Illness and The Medicine of Wonderment

This isolation thing...

There is much beauty in the world.

And sadness.

Even though it's a beautiful day outside, I'm sunk into the pity pot sadness place today. I guess I wanted to hide it from everyone. But its so hard to figure it out. 

Pandemic. Pfitt!

Heart attack. Oh bother!

Lung disease. Just too much!

and 

Isolation.

There's the problem

I ruminate too much.

That's like chewing my cud, were I a cow or goat or sheep.  But in people, it seems to be mainly mental. And then it gives physical aspects. Bim bam, one way or another. Which came first, chicken, egg?

So I'm having depression. Would you care for gravy on that? Or how about a cherry on top?

It's just suddenly here. Maybe it was there a few weeks ago, and yet, my physical symptoms a week ago were of COVID, but my test was negative. So whatever disease is inside me, a few cold symptoms after the wave of fever. This is the third one of this year...wake up with fever, go get tested.

The one that lasted longest, the second of this year, I went to my M.D. and got antibiotics, and that knocked out a lot of things physically, which was nice. 

This time I'm mainly having nightmares. Oh dear, they are so real, and so uncomfortable. Last night, morning, just before waking, I had to cook some food and there was fish, and all of it was supposedly already cooked, but one of them flip flopped, still alive.. but not finding a pan in a strange kitchen, nor figuring out how to turn on the ancient gas stove.

The fish is definitely because 2 days ago I ate fish again...which has not been on my diet for about 5 months. So it wasn't worth it, if absorbing those sweet fish-molecules has done this to me! I do take an Omega-3 capsule, (sometimes) which is derived from herring and sardines.  That's how I justified eating salmon...it was just further up the food chain. But the white fish of 2 days ago, was a bit lower in fish eat fish. I don't know why it's staying with me, but I'm pretty well tired of it.

I am pretty tired of spending hours a day focused on food...whether fixing, buying the things to fix, cleaning up (which I hate) and oh yes, eating it in 15 minutes or less for each meal.

I'm in the mood to go through a drive-through and maybe eat an Impossible Whopper (totally vegetarian and really delicious). I've been doing that almost weekly lately. Actually the last one I took everything off and just ate the patty. I'm not a big fan of white bread, even a bun with fancy sesame seeds all over it. They get stuck in my teeth. Incidentally, I've googled impossible burgers- the vegetarian patties, and they're not for sale yet in the grocery stores in my area!

I just took some time to watch a very good and timely UU service on "get out of your heads" and it included lots of ideas, meditation, and even dancing. I loved it!

Telling a friend I was depressed, she wanted to cheer me up by telling me she was wrapping my present. Oh my, I haven't figured out what to give her yet. How can I be grateful without that reciprocal thing hanging over my head?

Then she told me one of her daughter's whole family of 4 has COVID.

Definitely not cheering.

Why do people think depression needs cheer?

I have no idea.

So I'm going to plod along and do some things that I know make me feel better.

Shower, dress, go walk in sunshine. And that's what I needed another friend to remind me of. If it takes 2, I guess it's good I've got at least 2 friends!

Interestingly enough, I thought of a good "get well" gesture for my friend's family...get them a gift certificate for a local restaurant that I already know they love.

And I ended up feeling in a better mood by just getting out. Avoiding being within 6 feet of people...especially that one woman without a mask in the grocery store. 

Next day's notes. The other thing about that depressed day was having bad coughing most of the day. I tried to watch a movie on Netflix, but my concentration is about 10 minutes at a sitting. No fever though, so I just coughed my way through. This bronchiectasis thing, where coughing is good for me, is sure a tiresome version of COPD. It does wear me down.

I finally went for Chinese Take Out...the vegetarian tofu with veggies was good, but I mainly wanted that hot and sour soup. Oh my, it did clean out my sinuses! I saved some for the next day. And gave half of the tofu/broccoli to my friend when she came to pick up some recipe books I'd borrowed...she liked it.

Next day...I've bought a box of Xmas cards. and watched the end of that movie. It's pretty good for Netfix...a fictionalized bio of Madam C. J. Walker, "Self Made."

But today (Monday) I'm feeling better until I try to do something, like carry in the groceries while it's freezing outside, and so I'm wearing a coat and hat and mask, and I get out of breath, not to mention sweat so much I have to change clothes. The cough is manageable...at least for half the day mark. I have to consider that there is some sickness going on in this old bod...though I'd like to figure it's not there. For me not to be able to carry those 4 bags of groceries in, and to sweat so hard...ok, I will be gentle with this old lady and let her have a treat.

I'm staying away from milk products as long as there are cold-like symptoms. I've learned how they help produce mucous, and I sure don't need that. But I've got a treat for myself, some Reeds' Jamaican Ginger Ale.

See ya later friends.

Sorry I haven't been taking photos. Mmm, I'll look on the camera, but I don't remember any.

Oh, here's a present a friend gave me last week, which was sweet. It's real!

I'm so blessed that she thinks of me when so much is going on with her family. Yes, gratitude is a good bane for depression

Depression as an everyday state and how to get out of it

With Covid-19, the pandemic (hopefully the only one) of our lives...many of us feel depressed. And it kind of sneaks up on us, especiallly those of us who are natural intraverts who said, "At last, I can hang out alone and enjoy it." Then after a few months, we don't want to get out of bed, or eat, or can't sleep...boom! We've become depressed!

Thanks to Elephant Journal HERE 

Five Ways out of Depression (entire article is posted below in case you don't want  to click to the link)

I have experience with everyday depression. So do you. We all do. It’s human.

(I’m not talking about clinical depression, here. That may require clinical solutions. This is about the Buddhist teachings on how to work with everyday depression).

It’s been a part of the human condition for all time—which is good, because folks like the Buddha and Jesus and every great realized human being ever has gone through it, and found her or his way out of it.

5 Obvious, Quick, Simple, Easy Ways out of Depression (That we Fail to Think of When We’re Depressed).

1. Anything electronic—unplug it. Video games, instagram, surfing the web—anything too focus-oriented, repetitive, and mildly pleasurable keeps us anchored to that mindless churning beneath the waves.

2. Get outside. Light, fresh air—is the hope, the outlet, the gap, the present-moment succor, and pleasure that comes with tearing open our cocoon.

3. Touch in with a living sentient being’s heart. See someone. Hug a dog. Talk with community—what’s getting us down now, told as a story, will get us out of what’s getting us down, now. And it usually makes for a good story, too, if only because it’s real.

Yes you can be close during Covid...wear a mask and be outdoors!

4. Music. Dance. Blues. Hard rock. Depends on your mood. Something we have to dance a little to. Move.

5. Most importantly: we can avoid the things we think will give us pleasure but know, from experience, will not—sex that isn’t based on love, porn, picking zits, video games, overeating food we’re not hungry for, ice cream, more ice cream, binge-watching too much TV, whatever it is—go the other direction and…

Breathe.

Remember to breathe. It’s that simple. It’s that simple, but it’s not easy to remember to do so when we least want to remember to do so.

It takes practice. Meditation practice. Life practice.

Author: Waylon Lewis

And my own saying for today...which reminds me that it took a heart attack to get to exercising regularly, and eating plant-based diet with low fat foods, and meditating daily, and connecting with friends and family!

"Do what you did, and you'll get what you got."

More Troubles for The Flowery One

Some emails flying back and forth:

See yesterday's post about The Silent One going missing and why.  I'm sharing this touching story because it was so unexpected, to have a friend suddenly be hit so hard by events, and to just disappear.
 
From me:

Mon, Sept 19,2011

Dear Flowery One:

I hope that by now The Silent One has come home...

I don't know The Silent One well enough to say whether or not this is unusual for him...but I do just hope that he needed to get some space from all the people that have made him feel badly.  Not meaning you, but the whole live-in and work-there thing is kind of too connected at this point.

From the Flowery One:

Sent: Tuesday, September 20, 2011 12:00 AM
Subject: RE: Worse troubles

It's 8:50 pm and The Silent One still isn't home, nor has he called.  I'm so worried.
And no, this isn't at all like him. He'd never worry me like this unless he's lost his mind with worry and depression.  He doesn't drink so he's not at a bar, unless he's decided to start drinking now.  I can't file a missing person report until noon tomorrow, 24 hours.

Thanks for the support.




From the Flowery One
 Sept. 20
No news about The Silent One yet, but I filed the missing persons report at noon, so they're out looking for him.

Then from the Flowery One

Thurs.	9/22/11

We found The Silent One!  I've visited him in the hospital and hugged the daylights out of him. Turns out he drove a long ways in a state of shock and depression over being demoted. He took a gun before leaving. I guess he had one in the trunk that I didn't know about.  Anyway, he drove a few hours, parked out in the woods and got out of the car.

He was going to shoot himself but couldn't so he stumbled around confused and crying and got lost, laid out in the wet and cold shivering all night without a coat.  Anyway, then he decided to get help and drove back to a hospital and checked himself in. The hospital found out he'd tried to shoot himself, called the police who confiscated his gun. Then the hospital sent him to a recovery center a few miles away where he will remain for a few days. He's getting insulin, pills for depression and counseling.

Turns out that part of the reason for all this is his blood sugar had shot up to over 300 and he wasn't thinking properly. It was the added stress of being demoted plus he'd been working way too hard and not eating right. He'd also been depressed and hiding it for weeks. 
The Silent One called me and we said we'd be right there, which we did as fast as we could. We had a nice long visit with him.  What a day, but a happy ending.

More about our jobs later as we know. As it stands, The Silent One will be assistant manager and I'll continue to do activities and cleaning. 

We plan on agreeing to the new arrangements but also plan on getting new jobs as soon as possible.



More tomorrow, dear readers!  This was a terrible thing for my friend to live through, but she and her husband dealt with everything the best they knew how.