So I went to physical therapy today, and realized as I left home, that I was supposed to be there at that time, rather than leaving at that time. I rushed as much as I could but still was about 10 minutes late.
I usually give myself mental cues, and if I'm busy on the computer, I even set alarms to let me know I need to get ready, or leave.
But not today. I was late for the first time to PT and I felt really bad.
But somehow I had confused the time of 10:20 to 10:40 that the appointment was. Now this was after I'd already known I had arrived late.
So my dear defense system said, well we thought we were not supposed to be here till 10:40.
Steve (the PT) said we never meet at 10:40, he does appointments only at 10:20.
I just shook my head.
As I walked to the car I thought, I'm not using the tools in my own toolbox. I know how to live a better life than I currently am. It's not just physical debilitation from breath problems...it's emotionally not getting better than I am at my worst.
So...that's the therapist Bingo above. And all the little tricks I can come up with...to get myself out of the slump. I often say, "this is the COPD/bronchiectasis causing this." But hey, I'm a whole being, put together of all these pieces and my emotional life is kind of still in a slump.
Helping others more and more. Telling them I'm not making much progress. Knowing the PT won't cure the curve of my back, but at least I can learn some core muscles to help, and can stretch my arms over my head again. So I have the pros helping me. Time to help meself.
Now I need to kick ass to this person Barbara!
Oh oh, I just remembered something from long ago body work, deep tissue work, Rolfing...my emotions are also carried in my body. So this work on posture may well be releasing these feelings.
Whoo hoo. An ah-ha moment.
