So angry

 

A heavy box was delivered.

Inside was another box which opened to show a nicely packed journal, vial of pills, various instructions and warnings.

 

It even included a lame little plastic pill counter to hang around the bottle…it fell apart when I tried to remove it from its packing housing.

So the new drug I'm about to try comes like this.

Why does it make me angry? Haven’t even started taking it yet.

I'm pissed at this expensive marketing presentation! The cost is exorbitant!  And thus the pharmaceutical industry has spent all this money to encourage me while taking the drug.

Remember the “methinks he doth protest too much” phrase?

Why?

There are phone calls every other day from representatives and pharmacists to give support and answer questions. I let them go to voice mail.

I haven’t started the drug because I’m currently on antibiotics. 

Will I?

Probably, since I'm paying for it.

And on top of all the junk they pushed into my home (it won’t fit in the recycle bins) I'm almost crying to have been sent a journal.

I can no longer write comfortably thanks to my essential tremors.

They didn’t know it, but when my Dr called to make sure I got the antibiotics I let him know that this disability looms large in my life these days.

Yet another invisible condition!

————————-

People rarely win wars; governments rarely lose them. -

Arundhati Roy, author (b. 24 Nov 1961)

------------------------------

More to be angry about!

"The UN Charter prohibits the threat or use of force against the territorial integrity or political independence of any state in Article 2(4), which reads, “All Members shall refrain in their international relations from the threat or use of force against the territorial integrity or political independence of any state, or in any other manner inconsistent with the Purposes of the United Nations.” Launching attacks, like the U.S. strike on Iran, is generally illegal. There are exceptions for self-defense against an armed attack (Article 51) or an attack authorized by the Security Council, but neither of those is in play here.

Treaties ratified by the U.S. Senate, like the UN Charter, have the status of federal laws under Article VI, Section 3 of the Constitution, which reads, “This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land.” (emphasis added). Upholding them is part of a president’s duties and the oath of office he takes under the “take care” clause of the Constitution.

Of course, we all know that under the Constitution, Congress, not the president, has the power to declare war. We also know that for the past few decades, the executive branch has been assuming more of that power, adopting a “beg for forgiveness,” rather than an “ask for permission” stance. But no one has been as brazen about it as Donald Trump, who has bombed 7 different countries in just over a year in office and is at in a second time in Iran, after claiming, in June 2025, that he had “obliterated” their nuclear program. It’s not a good thing when the man with the nuclear codes is punch-drunk on the amount of power at his disposal, and it behooves us all to keep a close watch."

SOURCE: Civil Discourse by Joyce Vance

“The use of force by the United States and Israel against Iran, and the subsequent retaliation by Iran across the region, undermine international peace and security.”

UN Secretary-General António Guterres condemns military escalation in the Middle East.

-----------------------

The ego is simply a way for us to understand and attend to ourselves, at the same time as we understand and attend to the world around us.

 

The Journal Project - Week 3

 Mon/ Aug 29, 2022 start of Journal Project week 3/4  

This will be my last post of a weekly journal. Sorry, just seems too repetitive.

Date with Helen and Teresa for lunch had been planned for months. Since Teresa is off from her job only on Mon. that was our limitation! Helen picked me up, and the restaurant we'd chosen didn't open till four...staffing issues. We ended up going to Ole's, which is my favorite restaurant as any of my readers know already.

And there were three other friends to surprise me with all the birthday party hoopla! A crown for me, flowers and little bags of presents. Which meant I wore the crown and opened the presents first. More on a blog about this great birthday event!

I'm at the far end of the group, wearing a tiara!

Afternoon a friend from church took me to look at cars in local dealer lots...and I found one of interest, that looked really good up front, low mileage and price in my range. But I wanted to drive it and have my mechanic check it out. Couldn't schedule with him till the next day. 

Tues Aug. 30, 2022

Early to car place, where the car of interest had a flat tire, but when they opened, they blew it up again, and I took it (with my advisor and trusty ride provider) to my mechanic. Mechanic said absolutely no...the bottom had too much rust. So we took it back and I went home. A couple hours later I met a good friend for brunch. I've know her since I lived in Tallahassee in the 70s! It's always good when we can see each other, though times are further apart these days. I look pretty tired (on the left) while M. looks cheerful.

Home for a nap...and looking on Craig's list for car listings. Big push to get the monthly newsletter for church finished for the proof reader and then published for tomorrow. 

Wed. Aug 31

Finally received money from insurance, to be wired to my checking account. At least I did the on line transfer and it should take effect within the next 2 days.

It's laundry day...for anyone's edification! Home chores to take care of. Audio book by Patti Calahan  "Becoming Mrs. Lewis" (fiction about C. S. Lewis getting married.)  Very good read (or listen as the case may be.)

Thurs Sept 1, 2022

Out at 9 to go look at two car dealer lots. There were 2 cars available in the first (which had another getting serviced whatever that means. Didn't consider either of them seriously.

At the second were 2 possibles, and one was really right for me. So again drive it (a long ways) to mechanic, who liked it. But oops, some fluid coming out of either transmission or steering. So I said to the dealer, if you fix that I'd like it. The dealer said they'd take care of it, and call me. I wonder if they will.. When I got home today around 4 (we'd had a nice Thai lunch somewhere in the driving around) I went straight to bed and slept till 6:30 pm. Got up and had the leftovers of Thai lunch.

 

Fri Sept 2. 2022

Nice and cool morning! I'm so tired of "Big Google" knowing everything about me. I recently was on the phone with a pharmacist and mentioned a new diagnosis I have, and the next day it appeared on my Facebook ads. Sometimes I'm more tolerant than others.

Today I put a deposit on a used car. I won't bother recording details here. I've been helped immensely by friends who've driven me to see cars, test driving a few, getting a few checked by my mechanic...and I think the one I've chosen will be great to own and drive. The dealer is fixing the problem my mechanic spotted, and I've put a down payment on it...and the cost is doable for me.

Friend brought me some fresh fruit, and a favorite treat, Pringles. I could eat the whole can at once...but am going to portion them out so I can enjoy how that salt hits me. Yes, I'm supposed to have low sodium diet...which is why I crave these so much. I figure once a week to have 6-7 Pringles won't kill me, and if it does, I'll die happy!

Saturday, Sept. 3 2022

And my blog life almost always does a Sepia Saturday blog on this day. Many of the photos come from historic postings on FB. Shrug. They put them out in public, I like them! I share them. Everyone knows I didn't take them!

Went to a pot luck lunch that the residents had here. I didn't eat a hot dog. But nibbled at other things and desert of banana pudding with lots of cool-whip!

Sunday, Sept. 4, 2022

Thoughts go to 43 years ago when I gave birth to my youngest son. I raised him alone, since his father wasn't in the picture. And I had a community of my friends and church groups who offered many activities for us to do...as well as good teachers in different schools. I moved frequently, since I was trying to support us and jobs for my skills were sometimes difficult to find. Finally I found I had a knack for helping senior citizens.. By then of course he'd moved on in his adult life. It really was hard for him growing up, and I have that regret, of moving and having to make new friends over and over. But he's now got friends from his young adulthood which stay in touch with him. I'm glad of that. And I'm very proud of the man he now is, with a great job, a wonderful wife, and two little animal pets, and their own home in CO. Yes, I've dedicated a blog to him on Sept. 4.

Neighbor's cat visiting for a drink of water. She didn't tongue it up like most cats, but stuck her chin in the water and then tried several times to swallow. I wonder if her collar is too tight. I'll mention it to her "benefactor" who feeds her (she used to be totally feral.)

Today's quote:

In the past, I have been a cloud, river and the air. And I was a rock. I was the minerals in the water. This is not a question of belief in reincarnation. This is the history of life on earth.

Thich Nhat Hanh, 

Unnamed Journal

A journal of each day for a whole week. (as hosted Here)

 Monday, August 22, 2022

Waited all day for a call from an insurance adjuster. Finally a call from my local agency. Gave me the name and number to call to have adjuster go see car in impound lot. After 5 so I waited till next morning.

Had a nice lunch with C. at Ole's Guacamole, my favorite Baja shrimp tacos. Listed to a Louise Penny novel in the afternoon and evening on the mini iPad...one I don't remember too well, as it took place in Paris (at least the first part). I probably have read it, but the advantage of being 80 is that I forget things I read 10 years ago!

Today was my dear daughter-in-law's birthday, Barbara B, who has a macaron business selling at various venues of pop-up variety and the street fairs of St. Pete and Tampa...as well as some conventions. Anyway, she's either baking them, or selling them, and couldn't take the weekend off to come to the mountains. I missed her fun quirky slant on things!

Tuesday, August 23, 2022

Well it's finally here, the 80th birthday of this incarnation! I've led a rather unexciting life, but did push the envelope a bit as far as trying to do things that were not expected of me...at least from the former generation. I've talked enough about my life before on blogs.

Retired in 2007 at 65, and moved here to Black Mountain NC. where I spent the next 12 years making and selling pottery. Now after one heart attack I'm not sure what I'll do next. Something to help with adjusting to climate crisis I think.

Lunch at Trail-head, another wonderful restaurant here, with another wonderful friend (who's older than me!). Then she helped me do some errands. I got a call from insurance that in 48 hours I'll know what the status of the car is.

Wednesday, August 24, 2022

Finally got a document from insurance about the car. They offered me a check for complete loss of car. They call it "totaled." I'm not sure that I can find another used car that's in as good a condition as this one. I had a good zoom conversation with two men from church to determine what the best course of action would be.

Thursday, August 25, 2022

H. drove me around to get some checks ready to buy some new (to me) car. She also took me to the impound yard to get the rest of my things from Grey Hawk. It's sad to say goodbye to a car that has been so reliable, and taken me so many places.

Friday, August 26, 2022

I just wanted to stay in bed. So I did. Till someone called with a recorded message. Oh well, I needed fresh coffee. And then look for cars on line. Ugh. I hate shopping of any kind. I will probably take the first car I see that meets my needs, price, durability, age, etc. I am definitely grieving for the loss of my little car.

Saturday, August 27, 2022

Friend took me to meet another friend for lunch, then to our big grocery where I got just what I could carry in 5 bags. Talked with son #2 about cars...and looked at my favorites of the ones my friend has posted. I haven't been able to find anything myself. Talked with friends at lunch as to what I could do with some left over Kaiser buns...for the pot luck at church tomorrow. They wanted me to make sandwiches. I don't have the energy to do that. May or may not take them, depending on how I feel in the morning. Friends will pick me up to take me and bring me home. What a great community meeting the needs of others.

Sunday August 28, 2022

Got a ride to church, and home. Didn't fix anything for the pot luck, and I was the last person to get a plate in the line (we don't use plastic or paper goods, being Green) and the few people behind me got bowls. I just decided I had enough to do, and making little sandwiches just wasn't in me. I did mention that I needed to find a car, around 10 years old. It was great to see all my friends too!

Today's quote:

George Santayana said "History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren't there."

The Weekly Journal project

Fellow blogger Kate Morales, suggested blogging about the whole week. I like journaling. And I'm at a starting point (they come occasionally when I go away and return home, or have been sick and get well again, etc.)

Monday August 15, 2022

Returned from cabin, which meant lots of packing up and dismantling bed linens, following the B&B protocols. Took son T. and wife K. to the airport on way to Colorado. They stopped first with me at my apartment in Black Mountain NC to unload all the stuff from my car. I had been really handicapped at climbing stairs or carrying much over the weekend gathering. By Mon. night my back was screaming. (Note to self, don't complain about all your physical woes in this journal!) We had to get up really early to clean up cabin and get to various places of travel, so after I got home from the airport, checked the laptop, I took a nice hour's nap. Missed being around people SOOO much.

Finally texted a couple of friends to let them know I was home. And then called another friend, Cathy, and asked her to have dinner with me at Ole's (favorite of mine). She finally said yes, and it was so great to be able to talk with her...I've decided conversations are the glue which keeps me sane. 

Tuesday August 16, 2022

Today is R, (my second son's) birthday...mid-50s. Blogged about how wonderful he is as a son, as a man, husband and father...as well as very accomplished in his work. I need to remember to call him later (and have a conversation!)

Walked up the hill driveway, then back down the stairs...to get used to those muscles which complained all weekend. Also met 2 neighbors and had short chats. (does that count as conversations? I don't think so.) I used my walking stick, but didn't lean on it like I had over the weekend. Perhaps that difficulty was from having to move all the food stuffs into the car on Friday before we left? Muscles all over my body don't feel half as bound up as I was over the weekend. (Oops, forget physical gripes!)

Washed half the windows...the storm doors and living room ones. The nebulizer I use with saline solution had fogged them all up on the inside. I could wash most of the outside of the storm windows, but not the part behind the screen. Anyway, next to do is bedroom and bathroom windows. Don't hold your breath.

Wednesday, August 17, 2022

Had a picnic circle lunch with 3 other friends up at the campgrounds in Montreat NC. Sitting by the creek, I've become so accustomed to it that I didn't even try to take any photos today. Shared a bit about all the people and the weekend, my shock at being alone again, and my determination to have connections/conversations with other people going forward. I'm also treating my household chores as a bear just sauntering through the woods...whenever I see something I like and want to work on, I do it...then move on.

I was confronted with another neighbor also wanting to have a conversation. She parked her elec. wheelchair on the front porch by the driveway. I was getting something out of my car. I asked what she was waiting for. She said somebody. I said who? She said any body, just somebody to talk with. So when my friend came to pick up her forgotten items from my car, I asked if she would like to talk with my neighbor, which we then did for about 20 minutes. Sort of spreading the joy!

Thursday, August 18, 2022

Did laundry at laundromat...uneventful. Brought laundry into house, cleaned out cooler I'd borrowed for the weekend, loaded it with a dozen left-over eggs, and prepared to take it and the Monopoly Game back to my friend, T's house when she got off work. She texted she was home, I started driving toward her.

Had an accident. Wasn't hurt, nor the other woman in her car which I hit. I had been turning left into a 4 lane highway, and a big black SUV had been  slowly coming toward me, turning right into my road. So I didn't see the car behind the SUV, and then bang, I hit the back door of her car...knocking her car into the oncoming traffic lane. I had just been starting out, and hadn't gotten out of 1st gear.

That's how my right arm has all the bruises that I suffered, from holding the gear knob as I suddenly stopped. I was able to drive my car over to the center turning lane behind her car, then got out and called 911. There was an off-duty policeman from Black Mountain who stopped first, then a fire truck with EMT's and I and the other woman refused to go to the hospital. She was talking on her ear bud phone constantly in Spanish. . I had asked the EMT to take my blood pressure since I've got high blood pressure, but it was kind of normal, considering. Definitely not the level to go to the hospital.

I then texted T, and she came over and parked in a nearby parking lot...which we all ended up driving to for the police to do their report. My friend took her cooler, and the eggs, which didn't look broken even! She gave me a ride to my apt, about 3 blocks away.  My car was towed because the front bumper was against the wheel. See photo.

I also emailed my three sons and wives with photos. No answers. I called my two other best friends, as well as the one I had planned to meet Thurs. night for a story telling performance. She offered to help also. Everyone is great at offering rides etc.

Didn't sleep very well...kept having the crash and afterwards go through my brain, going to sleep, in the middle of the night, then at 5 am. I took Tylenol for the pain in my arm...looks just bruised, everything works ok

Friday, August 19, 2022

Wanting to know what the next right thing to do is...

Called Tim, friend who knows about cars. He had no experience with body work or accidents. Called around to 1) my mechanic who sent me to 2) a body shop which has no appointments till Dec. and 3) the place where the car is, an impound lot. They won't release the car to anyone until insurance sees it.

I had called my insurance agency last night when I thought my insurance should be notified. The tow truck had not been sent by them, but by the police (my guess). 

And the accident report also was written in error with my old insurance co. on it.

That was because the registration card has the old co. because I didn't change insurance till after I'd registered the car. I gave the police officer the card for the new insurance, but he must not have noticed it wasn't the same. That may be a problem as far as notifying my insurance...but my broker who sold me that policy took the accident number and was going to notify them, and then said an insurance adjuster would look at the car within 3 days. I don't expect that over the weekend.

Then my old insurance co. called (last night) because the other car's insurance had filed a claim against the policy that I'd terminated. I explained to them that I was insured by another co. and the old one said they couldn't tell those details to the other insurance, but they could give them my phone number.

Saturday August 20, 2022

A friend picked me up to go have lunch with the people who sell pottery at the Tailgate Market on Saturday mornings...and a relative of one of them. That made 5 of us for lunch. It was outside in a lovely setting, and I brought home half of my meal for later. My friend had purchased some figs for me, but they were over ripe, so some turned to juice before I got them home.

Dealing with stress...or just wanting to relax in a different way, my friend and I went to the ABC store and each of us bought some liquor. Then she brought me home and I took a nap.

Later I made a delicious dinner of Ciabatta rolls (warmed) with cream cheese, Tzikie Spinach Yogurt, and the smashed figs. Wow...everything from crisp bites of garlic to sweet figs! I was about halfway through eating them and my son T. called to see how I was doing after the accident. I told him fine, some bruised arm places, and waiting for insurance to tell me the bad news. I'm kind of resigning myself to it being "totaled." That means finding another car without having one to drive around in! Geese! And these days used cars are really dear...and priced accordingly!

Sunday, August 21, 2022

This has definitely been a week to keep a journal. Many of my weeks will not have this much happening! Today nobody offered to take me to church, so I will gladly watch the YouTube video which was created. Love YouTube! A friend did offer me a ride while she went to Ingles grocery to pick up cardboard milk cartons, which she uses to carry pet food to the local animal shelter, from where it's offered free. Anyway, I went in and bought a sweet potato. I've got fruit aplenty now. Need to cook the left over mushrooms from forgetting to take them to the weekend gathering.

We went to sit by a lake she likes, and found the clouds had made most benches shady, and many ducks and even an egret were visitors. Now I'm home and preparing mushroom stuff. 

Tomorrow I may hear from the insurance guy as to what my car's future will be. Fingers crossed they will let me fix it...it's been such a reliable little car! But it's a 2004.

I'm sharing this through a link over in https://abbieandeveline.com/ post tomorrow. Hope some others will join us, even if they don't have quite as much excitement as I have this week. I hope I don't either!