Beginnings and endings

A bit of nostalgia, and anxiety, and maybe some hope.

First to say (as it happened first in the morning). Before I opened my eyes on a rainy day, I imagined hearing my mother saying my name to wake me up for school. It must have happened millions of times. Did my father ever say my name? I tried to remember his voice. Somehow it is lost in my memories. I then opened my eyes and saw where I now live. But between the first thoughts and reality, I remembered our basement "playroom" where as a teenager I had parties with friends, including a few slumber parties with girlfriends. A big jolt back to my own apartment today.

Spend a few minutes with this wonderful video of interviews with 3 elders over 100 years old each. HERE.

It's the first of the month of September, 2020. A new month. But I'm full of sorrow. Not that those centenarians have probably died since that video was recorded in 2016 or so. But that there are so many people dying right now. Of all causes. If you worked in life insurance, you'd know how many people die each minute. I couldn't work in that field. It's hard enough knowing that we are so fragile.

Do you remember the last memorial service you attended? A celebration of someone's life? They may have been quite young and died in an accident or by disease. Or they may have been quite old, and had many experiences behind them. But they had left this life behind.

Of course most of us choose to believe in an after-life. Or perhaps a re-birth into another life. And there are some who believe this is our only experience of life, from birth to death and that's all there is.

And here's another video, about a new life, Mei Xiang and her cub at the National Zoo. 

Thanks to fellow blogger, Ronni Bennett who shared these two videos Here.

I used to belong to a group that met weekly to chant and meditate. The facilitator would say, "To all those beings coming into this life, and all those beings leaving this life, we offer love."

My beginning this month is like a new year. No big resolutions, and many of the same good efforts in the direction of health and well being. I guess, just as I avoid making resolutions at new years, I'm just going to do what I can, doing the best I can. Toward peace, prosperity, love, and simple steps, or baby steps, to ensure I'll continue a few more days. I did a bit of meditation to try to see what I wanted the year 2023 to bring. It's interesting and practically utopia.

Right now I just sat back down at the laptop after one of those round the house completion of tasks. I fed the fish, took off the cover and netted out the dead one, which I carried ceremoniously to flush away. And then put the net down and ran some water in the basin to wash my recently worn underwear, then hung it up to drip in the shower...then back to the aquarium to hang the net on the side, then to the kitchen with my lunch plate which I rinsed off, then picked up an empty gallon jug and filled it with water, then treated it and poured it into the aquarium to top it up. I counted the fish. One is still missing. I wonder where it is...perhaps it managed to get entangled in the fake plants before it met its demise. I'm pretty sure it was there last week.

Endings? Well, I've only a few more weeks in the Ornish Cardiac Rehab program. I will miss it terribly...having so much support from the professional staff to work on my recovery and hopefully reversal of heart problems. Every time I think of cheating, eating the wrong things...I think of how dedicated that staff is to seeing me succeed. If only I could be that dedicated!!


I have hope. Summer is ending, and as always I'm looking forward to fall.

Today's quote:

You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.

THOMAS MERTON