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Wednesday, September 18, 2019

The best laid plans

An early morning check-up...what the Dr. calls a follow-up. Don't really remember what was wrong last month that he said, come back in a month.  So there's this little skin tag on the bridge of my nose.  It had grown again after he froze it off a couple of months ago.  This time he says, let's cut it off.  So there I am on the table with bright light and he uses alcohol to clean around it. Then a prick and a sting of the numbing medicine.  And then in let's say 2 minutes he's done and put a bandaid on it.


Then off I go to lunch.  I ask a friend from Florida what skin care she uses against the sun. I've not been doing much of anything this summer, and not really being outside in sun much.  But I'm thinking I should do more since I'll be traveling next week, and maybe get more sunshine.  So I plan to buy some sunblocking skin cream.

I find everyone I talked with at lunch had a story of skin problems, some of which were cancer. So I am not going to be alone if this is what I'm dealing with. I go home from a mediocre lunch, but the price was right.

Then wham, I am not very interested in doing what needs to be done this afternoon.  I am not coughing, which usually leads to a need to nap...or at least rest a while.  But I lie down, read a while, and the next thing I know I've dosed for half an hour...then wake only to fall back asleep.  I took some Tylenol in case I had the usual reaction to "numbing" medications wearing off and giving a residual pain.  It hasn't happened (pain) but oh was I out of it there for a while.  Then I wasn't.  I got up, and looked at my project for this afternoon.  I keep putting it off.  Oh well.

At least I'm still alive. I am able to make choices still.

Now I want to have some emotions.  I often have anxiety.  I sometimes feel sad. But when was the last time I felt joy? Ha. That's a good goal. Chasing joy.

8 comments:

  1. ...I'm a few years younger than you and for 50 years worked outside in the nursery/landscape business. Not being the smartest guy I have never worn sun screen or a hat. Knock on wood no problems yet, only time will tell.

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    1. Hi Tom...thanks for your comment. Yes, my friend's stories said the dermatologists said these cancers were from 40 years ago, not recently.

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  2. My mother occasionally had problems with skin cancer and would have to have this or that nicked off.

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    1. Hi William - I may or may not have skin cancer, but you do put things in persepctive. I can still cut my own toenails...so perhaps I can look at this as just something to be "nicked off."

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  3. I hope that it doesn't come back and they got it in time.

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  4. Roger has had some skin cancers and has gone through procedures like this one and some more invasive. It takes a day or two for things to be okay. About emotions, I wouldn't mind feeling happier, if only the world would cooperate with my dreams for peace.

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    1. I agree totally that world peace seems further and further away...must have something to do with politics. I am not experiencing any pain, but the tiny scar where he cauterized it yesterday has doubled in size and is prominently black today. So I slapped some makeup on it. I think bandaids are probably a better idea, but I don't have any of those tiny little ones...so I may have to get some. I did buy some skin moisturizer with SPF 15, and my make up is also SPF 15.

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There is today, more than ever, the need for a compassionate regenerative world civilization.