A gardenia without a brain

 It was very late blooming this spring...

 And now that it's getting cool again!

I gladly picked the first bloom and have loved smelling it on my bedside table.  I find taking several deep breaths clears my sinuses or whatever enough I can enjoy the scent.

The best laid plans

An early morning check-up...what the Dr. calls a follow-up. Don't really remember what was wrong last month that he said, come back in a month.  So there's this little skin tag on the bridge of my nose.  It had grown again after he froze it off a couple of months ago.  This time he says, let's cut it off.  So there I am on the table with bright light and he uses alcohol to clean around it. Then a prick and a sting of the numbing medicine.  And then in let's say 2 minutes he's done and put a bandaid on it.

Then off I go to lunch.  I ask a friend from Florida what skin care she uses against the sun. I've not been doing much of anything this summer, and not really being outside in sun much.  But I'm thinking I should do more since I'll be traveling next week, and maybe get more sunshine.  So I plan to buy some sunblocking skin cream.

I find everyone I talked with at lunch had a story of skin problems, some of which were cancer. So I am not going to be alone if this is what I'm dealing with. I go home from a mediocre lunch, but the price was right.

Then wham, I am not very interested in doing what needs to be done this afternoon.  I am not coughing, which usually leads to a need to nap...or at least rest a while.  But I lie down, read a while, and the next thing I know I've dosed for half an hour...then wake only to fall back asleep.  I took some Tylenol in case I had the usual reaction to "numbing" medications wearing off and giving a residual pain.  It hasn't happened (pain) but oh was I out of it there for a while.  Then I wasn't.  I got up, and looked at my project for this afternoon.  I keep putting it off.  Oh well.

At least I'm still alive. I am able to make choices still.

Now I want to have some emotions.  I often have anxiety.  I sometimes feel sad. But when was the last time I felt joy? Ha. That's a good goal. Chasing joy.

Credit Union's Sunflower Giants

 Right on State Street, or US 70, there is a virtual forest of sunflowers...across from the Monte Vista Hotel and Mellie Macks nursery.

Just some ramblings of mine

I woke up late this morning...well, I decided to let myself go back to sleep because I could. Retirement lets me do this a couple of times a week.

And that's when I dream.  Today it was delightfully involved, but fleeting in memory.

Then I read a few poems, here on blogs, or as newsletter in my email. And in between the lines, I kid you not, were fragments of my dream.

It was as if the memories were triggered not by the meanings of the words I was reading, but by the space in my head that enjoys poetry. It's probably that creative place, where dreams, sculpting, and poetry all merge.  I am serious. This experience was delightful, so I read more poems.

And the dream was how I had a neighbor who had hired a catering crew in a food truck, to do a wedding reception I think. The neighbor lived in a house next door (not next to my apartment now) and the food truck people (4-5 of them) needed a place to sleep until the next day when they would be cooking.  I met them, and showed them a menu that I'd picked up in Gainesville FL, where they were from, and even had that experience of meeting one and hearing her name, then forgetting it and asking what it was again.  The rest of the dream had to do with finding beds and bedrooms for them all, and apparently I was magical in creating spaces for everyone.

And then in Browning's Sonnet #43, between those familiar lines, and a couple of other poems, which had beautiful wording...slipped the dream back into consciousness. How do I Love Thee, Let Me Count the Ways.

Speaking of consciousness, I'm reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, and enjoying his concepts of adaptive un-consciousness, and talking with all my friends about some of the experiments that psychologists and others did, which were included in the book.  They know I'm creative and interested in exploring all those things about the mind.

When pottery students sit around a table working on their designs, we pondered the difference between mind and brain!

The geese coming at me...imagine doing chair yoga on the second floor of the Lakeview Center, looking out at Lake Tomahawk.  Then against the backdrop of mountains in the distance, suddenly about 20 Canada Geese are coming right at me, as they change from v-formation and plan to land.  They don't all come straight down, rather turn in one direction or another to flap wings and slow themselves before they gently splash down. I stared at this phenomena rather than tilting my head as I breathed deeply. In the space of half a breath I had a transforming experience...looking into the eyes, wings and huge bodies of these creature of air, land and water. I won't forget it.

A Sepia Saturday post

I'd like you to meet Cody. He is one of my "grand-dogs." His owners are my son and his wife, and their three daughters.  I think they all are more or less in love with him.

I haven't the time to find my other grand-dog photos...nor those of my friends.  I am so glad that they have dogs in their lives.  But honestly, I'm a cat person.

And how I know it is how uncomfortable I felt a few weeks ago, when walking along with a friend (person style, 2 legged) who would stop and pet each dog that came along...and talk with the owner! It happened so frequently, though I know she missed her own dog who was back home while the owner visited me, I did say something about how dog persons seem to stick together.

And then I noticed another friend who I walk with frequently, stops her own walk to say "Look at that." She acts like a dog herself, always finding something interesting to stop and look at, just as if it was the scent of something that fascinates a dog.

So am I the only person who just wants to stroll along, and keep on going? Not that I don't mind stopping to take pictures. Maybe that's my dog interest.

Anyway, I know I'm a cat person...and can't count on just one hand how many I've had.  They don't need to be walked at all! They are so independent, much like me.  We come together in a home, share the space, give each other warmth and companionship...but then go to our separate corners.  That is I used to have a cat. I'm past that now dealing with breathing difficulties. I do miss having a little companion, but me get a dog? Not likely!

Sharing with Sepia Saturday this week.

More from the museum

Boarding Houses:

Hotels and Inns:

More about these inns and hotels

Miami sign, then Peabody hotel

Where Alexander's fountain began

From Old Black Mountain

Two places still in business for overnight stays...

The Monte Vista hotel...

A toaster (electric) from the Red Rocker Inn - a prosperous B &B as well as nice family restaurant

Boarding Houses that aren't still in business

Artifact from Monte Vista Hotel

Thanks to Swannanoa Valley History Museum for sharing these artifacts!

Bucky Fuller

Just look at all those triangles! This is one of the designs in the gallery that was an extension of the presentation last weekend at the Black Mountain Center for the Arts.

A friend and I attended the Sunday night performance, and it was a really wonderful experience. - Another talented one-man show! And David Novak had the Buckminster Fuller persona down pat.

 And then he even had memorized a whole 2-1/2 hour show(with 15 min. intermission)!  I loved it, and wondered that he is going to be performing it in Poland this next week. I can't imagine being able to discuss these concepts in another language...but apparently he can! The author of the play was D. W. Jacobs, and it's been performed more than 1,000 times since he wrote in in 2000.

My first experience with R. Buckminster Fuller was reading his book "Operating Manuel for Spaceship Earth" back in the 60s-70s...as well as many iterations of the Whole Earth Catalog. He was very popular with the counter-culture, and I was thrilled in 1971 to join a UU Church in Tampa FL that was housed in a geodesic dome.  I also saw the domes in the New York Worlds Fair and Expo 67 in Montreal. Then Disney World had opened in Orlando with Epcot.

David Novak as R. Buckminster Fuller giving a lecture/performance at BMCA

Anyway, I also remember driving my camper van with some friends from Tallahassee to Altanta GA to hear Bucky Fuller speak in person, probably in 1977-78.  We camped in the van after the lecture, which might have been in the Fox Theatre. It was amazing to hear him talk quickly in much the same long drawn-out sentences, with no words less than 3 syllables, and often modifying something that had been mentioned in several sentences prior, but it mostly made sense. When did he catch a breath?

I just looked quickly at his biography, because I was pretty sure he was related to an early UU/transcendentalist, Margaret Fuller.  Yes, she was his great aunt but they never met, because she died about 50 years before his birth. And I learned in the bio that Bucky Fuller was the world president of MENSA from 74-83.

But back to the performance...and the great exhibit in the gallery at BMCA last week.  We quickly looked at the exhibit during the intermission.  It included some panels and artifacts from the Museum of Black Mountain College (Asheville, NC). The college is where Bucky first put his idea of the geodesic dome into models...and finally a working one.

"Stable"

Not where the horses are kept.

Just the prognosis for my bronchiectasis.  I had a recent chest CT scan, and did the spirometer breathing test. And talked with the lung doctor about my chronic "productive" coughing.  And where do I go from here? Not much hope of any remission of this disease. And the difficulty getting phlegm out of my lungs will continue to leave me susceptible to infections.  So the Dr. even gave me a prescription for antibiotics as a "have on hand" for when and if I get another fever related to catching something or another.

That's a good idea, antibiotics that I carry around with me.  Not that I plan to use them, but you know, I usually get sick on a weekend.

And apparently he trusts me to use them wisely.

I am now being given bi-annual appointments. And my general practitioner sees me almost monthly.  Yay for medicare giving me reduced price appointments with them. I have a reasonably priced drug insurance as well, so I may spend a good chunk of my earned income, Social Security, on medical care, but I'm ok with it for now.

Sitting here on a bale of hay in the stable.

Autumn is coming, but if you can't wait...

I loved seeing this early predictor of fall colors.

Don't know if a vimeo video will work here or not...so Here's the link.

Again, thanks to another blogger who shared it...macro photos of leaves changing color.

"There is video from Vimeo that uses slow motion to show how deciduous trees change their colors. The photographer tells us:

”This is a macro time-lapse short film containing roughly 6000 pictures of leaves from 10 common Midwestern deciduous trees.

“My name is Owen Reiser. I am a 19 year old biology student and self-taught photographer with an appreciation for the smallest things in nature.”

Thanks Ronni Bennet 

Reading another blog

Daily I check her blogs...her posts range from stories, to reminders to ground with the land we live on, to political rants.

Today...(yesterday for when you read this) she posted this.

...threats of terrorism — “I’m not living without guns; it’s just that simple.  The AR-15 is by far the most popular gun in America, by far.  . . .  If you’re talking about taking people’s guns from them, there’s going to be a lot of violence.”  "If you pass gun safety laws there will be a Civil War."  "If my opponent wins, my followers should shoot her." — are illegal.  It’s still illegal terrorism if you say that some third person will commit the violence  It’s still illegal terrorism if the threat is conditional (we’ll shoot you and declare Civil War if you pass those laws).  As long as you have the intent to cause fear (and, really, what else is the point of these statements), it’s illegal terrorism.

Here's the link to her blog in full.  Makes you think.  Makes me mad.

Incidentally, she's an attorney.

They're so little!

 I love seeing the hummers at the feeder.  They aren't too happy when a bee or wasp comes hunting though.  I washed the whole thing down to hopefully get any nectar off the outside.  The Spirit House gets lots of little droppings on it though.

 What's this I spy? A mom with ducklings in September?

 I feel sort of sad, since I don't think they'll be ready to fly with the others who take off for warm southern shores soon.  But then again, perhaps they'll be among those who just stay around all winter.

There didn't seem to be any male assistance around either.

Oh, the reason I sat down to write this, was my realization (it has taken quite a while) that very few of my friends are bloggers...so whenever I post a blog post onto FB, then my friends can see some of it.  They may never click over to blogger, but they can see the first photo.

These days most people are looking at a phone screen, rather than a computer.  And I have yet to find a good app for phones that shows blogs. (If you have, please let me know.) Anyway, my friends don't have access to blogs from their phones!

I am not going to quit blogging...and I certainly have a nice group of blogging friends who comment frequently (thank you so much) so I don't feel like I'm sending things out into completely empty space. But when I get 25 or so likes, as well as a couple of comments over on FB, compared to 2-4 comments here, it does make one think twice.

Gorgeous colors

Celosia cristata, cockscomb flowers at Lake Tomahawk.  These 2 are outrageous.

All week we've been talking about hurricane Dorian, watching it's slow progression, the weather-people looking for that tiny window of real disaster that makes a byte of glory that will be re-run a million times.  Unfortunately there are also the poor inhabitants of the Bahamas who felt the disaster...and they will be recovering for many weeks to come...maybe years.

I feel fortunate that this storm didn't come our way. The coast of North Carolina is due to be hit later today, maybe tonight. Our first responders are going there to see if they can help.

As summer winds down (say wind like winding up or down a handle) the pool had its last day of fun on Labor Day.  It makes no difference in my life.  No, that's not true. I'm grateful to be able to find a parking place at lunchtime since families aren't going to the pool at Lakeview Center.  

I had my birthday the week before Labor Day, and my youngest son had his yesterday.  He was a bit disappointed that his 40th didn't have a big party. I can understand his feeling.  My 75 went by without much fan fare.  Our family came together for my 70th. And this year marked 2 people's 80th birthdays.  That's quite enough.

OK, those are my thoughts this morning.  I wish you a happy day...in all the choices of what kind of day to have, that seems best.

A fortieth birthday

This is one of the big ones in life for most people.  My son, Tai Rogers is celebrating his 40th year today.  I've posted about him before, so won't go through it all over. But here are the links, so you can see the photos that I've kept on my external hard drive, as well as here on blogger  In 2013. And in 2014. 

Some of the older links no long are active. Tai received his M.F.A. in ceramics at Indiana University, taught for a year, then spent a couple of years as the manager of the metals and woodworking lab at Indiana University. He and Kendra moved back to Colorado a couple of years ago, and he now is working with high school students near Mesa Verde park, to help them graduate and go on to college.

I wish him well as he moves into a more settled part of his life, both in career and maybe soon in housing.  I know he and Kendra are looking for a permanent home these days.

What shall a mother say when a son turns 40? Something different? Something more monumental than an ordinary wish for a birthday?  I'm afraid I don't know.  I'm looking to use some poetry to send him.

Each person is an incredibly sophisticated, subtle, and open-ended work of art.  
We live at the heart of our own intimacy, yet we are strangers to its endless nature.  
Each of us needs to travel inwards from the surface
constraints and visit the wild places within us and answer the question:  Who are you?  
Who are you behind your role?  
Who are you behind your words?  
Who are you when you are alone with yourself?  
Who are you before you slip back safely behind the mask and the name by which you are known during the day?

If you can awaken the eternal beauty and light of your soul
you will break through the prison of certainty and bring light wherever you go.

John O'Donohue
From: Eternal Echoes

Local Food vs. Free food-bank markets

Another worth while series of films...Here.  They are short, and expressions of beauty.

Planet Local: A Film Series about the Beautiful Local Food Movement That's Changing the Way We Grow Food

As my friends who shop the local markets say, the Tailgate Market with fresh organic food is expensive.

But some of us chose the organic locally grown food, making our health a higher priority than cost.

We find the free food markets, provided by the area's food-bank, may be less fresh, and most certainly aren't organic...but the price is right. We can eat most meals in a week from the bounty which is available at little or no cost to us...most of us are seniors living on our own, by the way.

Tonight I sautéed some free onion in canola oil, threw in a chopped clove of purchased Mexican garlic, boiled a free potato and a free yam, chopped the 6 free mushrooms, diced the potatoes and stir fried it all together.  The most expensive part of the meal was the dash of white wine I tossed in at the last minute. And I've got leftovers! I'll add the free spinach and an egg the next time I fix it. I admit, sometimes the spinach has gone bad by the time I cook, which I don't do every day. I love using the microwave and toaster oven. I think for me, the thing that keeps me from cooking daily is the clean-up of pots and pans.

EcoBuddhism and today

This came through FB...it's a link to an article about NOW, by Joanna Macy *from 2016.

I have a friend who is an Eco-Chaplin, who introduced me to her teacher, Joanna Macy's work.  I only know a little about it, and am in awe.

Joanna Macy on How to Prepare Internally for WHATEVER Comes Next

“Yes, it looks bleak. But you are still alive now. You are alive with all the others, in this present moment. And because the truth is speaking in the work, it unlocks the heart. And there’s such a feeling and experience of adventure. It’s like a trumpet call to a great adventure. In all great adventures there comes a time when the little band of heroes feels totally outnumbered and bleak, like Frodo in Lord of the Rings or Pilgrim in Pilgrim’s Progress. You learn to say ‘It looks bleak. Big deal, it looks bleak.’”

September song

Such lovely weather. But that's not all that's good in my life right now.

I spent Sunday afternoon sitting on the desk greeting people who visited the Red House Art Gallery. The weather might have been the reason there weren't that many visitors. And they whizzed through so fast, it was as if they had looked for a specific thing and not found it.

The other gratefulness I'm feeling is that my health is being pretty good. I'm taking naps as needed, and eating pretty well.  I've got a chest c.t. scan this week, keeping track of my lungs for my pulmonologist. Bronchiectasis - needing to cough to clear mucus frequently.  If the coughing weren't so noisy I could go where people are more often. As it is, at least once a day when I'm out, I have to remind people that I'm not catching, it's a chronic cough.

So I'm patting myself on my back for having slowly, and with lots of breaks, been able to walk to the lookout on top of Mt. Mitchell last Thurs.  Yay me.

I love September. It used to mean (way back maybe in the 60s) going back to school.  Nowadays it happens in August everywhere.  But rejoining the scholastic community has always been exciting and rejuvenating for me. I'm still taking Spanish, though it's not quite as hard as it could be, not having a teacher but just a bunch of seniors trying to enjoy what they can learn, while many times we can't remember even English words! Well, now that's become more important, in case I ever find myself helping shelter someone who ICE is looking for. So now I want to be able to say a few important things.  But I know some members of the Spanish class would want ICE to arrest illegal immigrants, so I won't be practicing those sentences in class!

There was one summer that I quit my job and spent 3 months traveling and camping with my oldest 2 sons over 10,000 miles. A lot of driving for me (at age 32). But other than that, I haven't had "summer off" or "summer vacations." I would work through summers. And when I retired...well, I have vacation time every day, but I volunteer almost every day.

Goodness this has gone on and on!