Happy Winter Solstice

Welcoming the dark, which has given me plenty of sleep in the last few weeks. This night is the longest of the year, and embraces all my dreams, all the emotions that create them, that give me the messages that I need to hear from my inner and sweeter, most fragile self.

Dreams have awakened me several times, with an anxious sense of loss of those I love (though they are still alive.)  I want to hold them tight, cling to them. But when I speak with them on the phone over the miles, we're casual and talk of mundane things.  My fears belong just to me.  I know the mortality of our existence, and don't want to burden them with it.  In all likelihood I will leave this earth many years before them.  What can I leave behind for these loved ones?

That seems to be what this daylight-thinking rational-being considers.  The nighttime one is triggered by that fear of loss...that never again will we converse or hug or tell each other how really worthy the other is.  And I'm talking not of a lover, nor spouse, but of sons. These men that have their own lives and loves, their own children...who carry my genes and know my hopes and fears that I imprinted upon them with my gift of their lives.

So I will always feel that connection to them, though they must be men, they must be strong, poor dears.  But I see their sensitive sides often. They tenderly care for the smaller ones in their lives. They shrug off what is more burden than they can carry.

For me, I long to embrace them. I long to no longer have the knowledge of our immanent mortal separation. After I die, one or another of them will come to empty my apartment of so much paraphernalia that is of no value to them.

WINTER SOLSTICE PRAYER by Mary Saracino

Deep night, Dark night

Night of the longest sigh

Soulful night, Sacred night

Night of the longest dreams

Cold night, Holy night

Night of unfurling desires

Womb of the world, Birther of hope

Bringer of peace and good will

Pray, pray for all good things

That suffering for all will end

That life will thrive and generosity reign

In the hearts of all humankind

That joy will rise and children will fly

On wings of prosperity

Oh hear our plea, this silent night

When the moon is round in the sky

When hopes are high and eyes are wide

with delight and audacity

May Love prevail tonight, and always

Leading us back to our Source

May we dance with the dark, without hesitation or fear

And savor her promise of plenty

Deep night

Dark night

Night of the longest sigh

May our weary hearts stay vigilant and receptive

To all that is loving and dear.

Happy longest night of 2019 - and may you enjoy your dreams...and what they give you as messages to you only.