We cautiously send each other emails.
We speak about our cats, our children a bit, and plants.
We have such a poor history together. Yes, I am partly to blame. The main thing that pulled us apart is blame however. So I am avoiding all judgements.
I hope we can slowly mend the fence that had been turned into a concrete wall...about 10 stories high.
It is easiest for me to just walk to the end of the wall, peak around to see what is there, but hold onto the edge of that wall just in case I need it. There is the fear still from the old wounds. I do hope that whatever we can build together now won't mean we have to address those wounds for a while.
Our relationship existed in health for a while, about until 1974 or somewhere back then. Then everything in our lives just pushed and pulled too much, and we've not been close much since then. Rather there has been a lot of pain off and on, given to each other. It's as if we have the same weaknesses that itch and then the other scratches that exact place, but with claws rather than soothing touch.
I give this information to you, my blog, because it's an important event in my life. Just like a rebirth, which is what spring is all about.