If you knew how many more days you would live...

What would you want to do?
Many people say, just do whatever I was doing already...being with family, going on small trips, maybe working on one project or another.

And some people would do the "bucket list" thing...the big things that meant a lot to them that they hadn't had a chance to do yet.

Main St. Deadwood, SD, 1876

Then there are folks like me, dealing with ancestors all the time, so aware of the many people that have given me my own life, and they are all dead.  I look at their headstones through photos on line.  I also read a blog about elders, which some days touches on death, preparation for it, and being those who are around it and are survivors of some loved one's death.  The person who writes that blog is currently dying of pancreatic cancer.  It is a surprisingly rich experience for the blogging readers.

Booth Monument, Stratford, Fairfield Co, CT

So today I toy with a choice about this blog. Quite honestly, nobody seems interested in it.  Almost nobody ever comments, unless I share it over on 52 Ancestors, or Sepia Saturday.  Actually they are few and far between in commenting.  And they aren't really interested in my family trees.

I spend hours before each posting, looking over at Ancestry at the many hints on each person in a family...and trying to determine if this person by this name is the right one, or maybe another one by that name who lived around the same time.  It's incredibly confusing in early Colonial America, and even more so in England.  There were cousins of the same name, and uncles, and grandchildren...not to mention the headaches of women who weren't recorded by anything but a first name often.

So I think of why I'm doing what I'm doing. 

1. To know the truth.  That's a big reason.  Somehow that is a fundamental part of my searches.  To record it as best I can of course, after I figure it out.

2. To make discoveries.  I recently had an "ah ha" moment.  It meant a connection to me.  Nobody else could share the excitement I had however.  But I knew something I hadn't before. Something made sense.

3. To spend my time recording a worthwhile bit of information.  Not just trivia.  Not to give anyone a laugh.

But then, what if nobody ever reads it?  Mmm, that's why I'm thinking of this right now, is it really just a lost cause?  I could be doing something else.  Making the most beautiful piece of sculpture ever.  Writing a wonderful story.  Meditating to become more holy/enlightened. Catching up on things I've put off for years.  Volunteering to help others more. Reading more. Cooking more. Hiking more. Taking photos more. Writing something else...

So the question before me today is...given I have a limited life-span (like we all do, completely ignorant of the actual time limit) should I spend hours a day putting this ancestry information together here?

The answer I first come up with, is it satisfying? Do I get joy from it?

Not so much, I guess.

So I think what I need to do is give myself a set amount of time a day that I will sit down and work on family history.  Then whatever amount of information is sifted through, I can have the sense that my work on it has been fruitful.  No matter what it is, an hour of it will provide some amount of information.  Let's say a quarter of a blog.  So 4 hours might produce a blog posting in total.

And the one hour of work will also produce some information onto my Ancestry pages too.

There's also that goal I set for Christmas last year. To produce a document of the family for my 3 sons, and their descendants (if they have any.)  It is somewhat depressing that they are growing up and not reproducing yet.  I wonder if I'll live long enough to have a great grandchild!  Oh well, just look at all my mother ancestors who saw so many children die before they became adults.  My life has been much longer already, and I've 3 healthy sons at least....the youngest will turn 40 this year!

Walker Sisters, Smoky Mountains National Park

I also tend to look at the birthdays of ancestors as the way I find whether I've written about them or not.  It takes me to most of them several times, and each time I look at their siblings or children a little deeper.  And I find many things that give clues to their own lives.  Elder parents often lived with their children who were grown...and that shows on census records.

OK, time to get away from the laptop for now.

I'll be back to write more about my next ancestor, Elizabeth Ufford Beers, on April 3...not here.  I do those posts on my other blog, Three Family Trees.