After one rain, waiting for the next

 That pink dogwood is looking pretty lame about now (Sat. April 25) Petals look like snow on the ground.

I can no longer see the interstate, and in a week I'll loose my view of the mountains...to wait another 5 months till leaves fall off the maples.

Today's Quote:

Re-examine all you have been told.
Dismiss what insults your soul...

Walt Whitman

Cooking these days

I usually prefer to have a one dish meal. The other day I dirtied 2 pans by having Azuki beans and Jasmine Rice.
But then a friend offered to shop for me, and I asked for some frozen shrimp.
Yes, I've been trying to be a vegetarian. But I wanted seafood. I usually don't make a fuss about being dedicated to vegetarianism.

Anyway, she brought me a bag of nice big raw shrimp...the only strange thing I noticed was that they were pink already as if they'd been cooked.  Maybe they had some kind of flash steaming effect before being frozen. They could have had some dye added, though it wasn't included in ingredients.

The other weird thing I found, though they were headless, they still had tails and legs, and had been split down the back with the veins removed.
So I steamed mine, then pulled off shells and legs. Much easier than my usual way of cleaning them.

And I had decided to make an Alfredo sauce, to use up some old parmesan cheese, and I even bought sour cream, thinking that was what was in it also. Come to find out, it was supposed to be real cream or at least half and half. I don't know that I've ever made it actually.

So I boiled my angel hair pasta, and stirred some milk, and chopped garlic, and salt and pepper, and butter and the cheese over a low heat. But the milk mixture was too thin, so I added a bit of corn starch (mixed separately in a little container), which gave it the right consistency. Then at the last minute I stirred in two tablespoons of sour cream...I know it doesn't like to cook, just warm up before serving.

And the shrimp were so big they weren't totally cooked after a 10 minute steam, so I popped them back over hot water and gave them another 5 minutes steam, and they were just right.

I have another dinner of Alfredo and Angel hair, and enough shrimp for several meals, since I only had 6 that evening.  It was OH SO GOOD.

Today's quote:

The difference between doing something and doing nothing is everything.

DANIEL BERRIGAN

Breaking in the sneakers

 The new sneakers arrived and now I have to break them in. Can't walk very far around the parking area...but at least there's a hill to climb, pant pant.

 One of the flame azaleas is blooming.

And I think these are narcissus blooming.

Quote for today:

Having low self-esteem is a common issue - with some introspection you can start to loosen the grip of this negative thought pattern.

Our primary relationship in life is with ourselves. No one else goes through every experience in life with us. We are our one permanent companion, yet we are often our worst critic. To remind ourselves of our magnificence, we can do this exercise: "Five Things I Like About Myself." 

Begin by writing down at least five things that you like about yourself. This is not the time to be modest. If you are having trouble coming up with a total of five items, you know that this exercise can really benefit you. Be sure to include more than your physical attributes on your list, since our bodies are only part of who we are. If you are still struggling with what to include on your list, think of what you like about your favorite people, because these traits are probably qualities that you possess too. Another way to complete your list is to think of five things you don't like about yourself and find something about these traits that you can turn into a positive. 

Madisyn Taylor - Daily Om

A repost of a clip from another blogger - responsibility

You Tube is saying this video can't be found...but if you click the link, I think you'll see the composite clips of our egomaniacal president.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=bkMwvmJLnc0&feature=emb_logo

It's about his words...as recorded over many weeks...and he said he takes no responsibility.

I'm certain the parades and closely packed people in Michigan and other states (supposedly wanting to open their lives from quarantine) were fostered by the GOP people who want to get the market going again...no matter how many lives will be lost by the contamination that is starting with that parade. And as this week I read, the Georgia governor wants to get all the unemployed off his budget by sending them back to jobs, as well as the businesses to supposedly pay them instead when the economy is tanked.

It's never been more obvious to me that the white house is representing only a few rich people, and they would gladly see their opponents (politically) die thanks to early opening of our lock-down. Yes, they want people to die. tRump wants Democrats to die. He might not say it, but he does say on a regular basis that "they" are to blame for all his troubles. However, it will be his hordes who will spread this pandemic longer.

And when I read the opinions of the GOP, they are perfectly bamboozled into thinking the Democrats and China are in cahoots as having spread all the "fake news" about the virus anyway. I would feel sorry for them if it weren't a matter of life and death.

Quote for today (not from the above clip)

Friday I tasted life. 
It was a vast morsel.  

A Circus passed the house —- 
still I feel the red in my mind though the drums are out. 

The Lawn is full of south and the odors tangle, 
and I hear to-day for the first time 
the river in the tree.

—Emily Dickinson

A hawk and a friend by the river

Happy Earth Day everyone!

 As I drove into the parking lot, slowly, I rolled down my window to try to capture the hawk that I'd just spooked and could still see on this deadwood.

 Of course he took off as I clicked the second photo...maybe those are his wings kind of vibrating the foliage above the river.

I locked the car and walked around the Swannanoa River where it had flooded so badly last year in March. This year I don't think there were any bad floods. But there were still plenty of changes of its course which are yet to be reclaimed.

A I turned to go back to my car, there was suddenly a friend striding into the clearing.

Helen and I can have conversations of hours, but this time she was planning her lunch with a muffin and a coffee and a book by the river, so I said I'd text her. She offered to pick up some groceries for me when she shopped later that afternoon. I love this photo of her!

The Friends Meeting House is probably not having any meetings at this time, but it's gardens still have beauty. And thanks to Helen, I'm having fresh salads this week. Many many thanks!

Something to think about:

"Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does."

- Margaret Atwood (The Penelopiad)

This red/pink dogwood outside my front porch

Thoughts to consider:

To The Beloved Gardner.

Some of our deepest wounds,
Are judgments, self-inflicted,
Endless paper cuts upon our spirit,
Made by an inherently imperfect 'self',
Despising its imperfection.

When in fact, the green-stemmed fruit,
The infant petals in a sheltering bud,
Are as they should be, in their time,
On schedule to arrive, in their time,
In this Dream of passing seasons.

For here, in The Garden of Time,
What is not yet, becomes what is,
And what is, becomes what was,
And our manifest Being, ever ripening,
Is not yet, now, as it will be, then.

On this Path of Love and Surrender,
Tend gently the seedling of the Heart,
Doing the needful, as you are able,
But then Surrender, giving yourself over,
Sweet unripened...To The Beloved Gardner.

Chuck Surface

In The Garden of The Beloved Facebook

On our Covid-19 mental health

From someone who sent this along for anyone who might like to hear this...some of these signs might be happening or not...but be gentle with yourself if they are part of your life these days. And reach out to others to find support. That's sometimes the hardest thing to do, but nobody else may be around to know this is happening to you. There is always someone who cares about you, if you let them know you have these feelings. It's much harder for them to know what's going on without our usual contact.

Flat Creek behind Ole' Guacamole's Restaurant, Black Mountain NC 4.17.20

Mikaila Baca-Dorion, MBD's words:

I feel that it’s important for everyone to know that there are mental health related problems that some of you may be experiencing for the first time because of this collective traumatic situation and not recognizing as symptoms because you’re not typically traumatized:

-memory loss and memory issues, especially short term, and/or a distorted sense of time

-executive dysfunction. If you don’t know the term, it’s kind of like the human version of buffering. It’s when you sit there and think “I need to get up and do the dishes” and then you sit there. And sit there. And sit there. And you think over and over “get up and do the dishes” as hard as you can, but you don’t, your body just doesn’t listen to you, like a slow computer trying over and over to load a page and failing. That’s not laziness, that’s a mental health symptom.

-confusion and brain fog (and even slight dizziness and balance issues as well)

-sleeping too much or too little

-feeling nauseous all the time/not being interested in food even if you’re hungry

- “forgetting” to eat or shower or use the toilet etc. This is in quotes because what’s really happening isn’t a memory issue: instead, you’re not getting the cues from your body asking for food or water or hygiene or the bathroom. Your brain is so busy processing the fight/flight/freeze instinct that you can’t “hear” your body asking for its basic needs.

-the “bell jar” feeling, or as it’s otherwise known, dissociation, where you feel like somehow there’s glass between you and everything and everyone else in the whole world, and it takes a lot of effort to engage with anything outside yourself. It’s not a sad feeling in and of itself- it has no flavor, it’s just exhausting.

-intrusive thoughts. These are thought loops you get stuck in, usually bad ones, and they’re easy to miss the signs of in traumatic times. If you notice yourself continually cycling through a sequence of bad thoughts that you don’t want to have, that’s an intrusive thought pattern.

-inability to make decisions, even small ones (resulting in disproportionately intense distress if you try to force yourself)

-shortness of breath and heart palpitations.

-auditory processing issues- staring at someone for a good 10 seconds after they speak just trying to make your brain decipher what they said, or missing what someone said entirely multiple times, even though you could hear them perfectly well, or being unable to separate a conversation you’re having from the background noise of a television in the other room, sometimes to the point where you can’t finish your own sentences because the combination of sounds is distracting you.

-on that subject, also finding sounds, silence, and sensations more annoying and intolerable than usual- forks scraping, plastic bags rustling in the breeze from a fan, birds outside, etc. The way to identify this one is that it’s not even just annoyance, it’s an instant knee jerk reaction of distress and rage, and your brain can’t fully function. That goes for sensations as well- getting suddenly negatively overwhelmed by being touched, or having tags in your clothes or scratchy fabrics bother you to the point where you can’t think.

Group photos of women...

Somehow my photos I'd posted to the blog (older ones from a concert in 2012) disappeared before published. They still show in my edit screen, but the blog shows blank things. So I'll try again.

Below is Sahara Peace Choir. I used to be a member, and loved that the name was chosen to represent two groups, Jewish by Sarah, the mother of Isaac, and Muslim by Hagar, the mother of Ishmael. Linda has written many songs, and adapted many folk songs from many different cultures.

This year there was no concert, though it had been scheduled in March. So I sent a donation to the not-for-profit group that the concert was to have helped. HelpMate offers shelter to women in abusive domestic situations.

Another concert was held on the banks of the French Broad River.

A group of women (and one man) all of whom are middle aged or elders...and they are dressed up, women in long dresses with shawls! I'm matching the theme from Sepia Saturday this week!

The songs at these concerts are beautifully harmonized, focused on springtime, and inspiring for audience as well as singers. The women do dress in "jewel tone" clothing, and I think there are shawls and long skirts among them as well as tee shirts and slacks.

Myself and Annelinde Metzner, director of Sahara Peace Choir

Today's Quote:

"Whenever I touch a flower, I touch the sun and yet I don't get burned. When I touch the flower, I touch a cloud without flying to the sky. When I touch the flower, I touch my consciousness, your consciousness, and the great planet Earth at the same time.

The miracle is possible because of insight into the nature of interbeing. If you really touch one flower deeply, you touch the whole cosmos. The cosmos is neither one nor many. When you touch one, you touch many, and when you touch many, you touch one.."

~Thich Nhat Hanh
Cultivating the Mind of Love

Trees in the apartment complex

 There's a disease affecting all dogwoods, slowly. This red blossomed one has lost a portion of it's limbs.

and Thursday with some sunshine...

 Parking under trees in springtime means lots of pollen dust on cars, and the little seedpods too.

The red dogwood is valiantly trying to produce blooms.

And later in the month...

I'm still getting benefit from these simple Qi Gong exercises.  Just thought I'd share them again. I just need to remember that my old muscles take time learning new movements, or I have really sore back and ribs the next day! But that shows it's working!

And a quote for you:

This magnificent refuge is inside you.
Enter.
Shatter the darkness that shrouds the doorway...
Be bold.  Be humble.
Put away the incense and forget
the incantations they taught you.
Ask no permission from the authorities.
Close your eyes and follow your breath
to the still place that leads to the
invisible path that leads you
home.

St. Teresa of Avila

The Easter Sunday service on line

 Milk and Girl Scout cookies...I'm ready...

 Evan introduces from his home (he's on the Board.) I remember how fun it is to see art in people's home when they are recording from there now.

 Rev. Michael J.S. Carter introduced the morning, gave opening words.

 Linda Metzner played music from her home. Several hymns which were familiar.

 I lit my chalice on my altar. It really give me a sense of this is a separate time from my mundane existence.  Here's the link to the service, "Easter & The Universal Need For Hope," on Facebook.

 There were pauses between things on the video...and I really enjoyed more music that was brass playing.

 Susan Enwright Hicks (Director of Religious Education) read a couple of stories for the children, which were also available separately.

 Easter brought rain this year, and Black Mountain received more than 2 inches. I'm glad the storms that night didn't include any tornadoes near us.

 Michael had recorded earlier (different attire, different background)...the joys and concerns that had been emailed in.

 Some video time included a trip on the Blue Ridge Parkway.

The sign out front of the church, but those cars were from a Sunday before the Covid-19 shelter in place orders.

Our UUCSV Sunday services have now been on Facebook 3 times.  The message was positive, and several of us like the closing words especially.  They were also posted on Facebook last week by someone else.

Our quoted closing words:

Many thanks to those who helped make this religious moment possible on Facebook. My photos are taken from the mini-iPad where I played it...and it's still available. UUCSV Facebook. (Be sure it's for the Swannanoa Valley, there's another one for the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia!)

Into the woods by car

 Since I couldn't walk in Montreat, I drove up one of the pretty dead-end roads.

Added to Garden Bloggers Bloom Day for April.

Quote to consider:

When Death Comes
By Mary Oliver

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox;

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, toward silence

and each body a lion of courage, and something precious to the earth.

When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom; taking the world into my arms.

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder 
if I have made of my life something particular, and real. 
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened, 
or full of argument. 

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world."