Wow. Who would ever have considered I'd be sitting here 60 years later talking about my son Marty! I seem to have a post for his birthday most years.
But I like seeing these old photos from this post Younger than me Lovers...
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And here's the story of his birth from my perspective, as I wrote it when he turned 50.
Fifty years ago today I gave birth to my first son.
Barbara expecting, near upstairs apartment in background in Corpus Christi, Texas |
It was horrible...though I'd definitely been looking forward to the experience. Horror was being in a Naval Air Station hospital, without anyone near me who I knew. It included being among a huge number of women also in labor, such that I was on a gurney in a dark hallway alone much of the time. I had my first ever enema experience, and didn't know that I should have waited in the bathroom longer, so ended up wallowing out of the gurney with sides raised and not getting back to the toilet in time. Major apologies to the young male aide who mopped for me. Remember NAS meant everyone around me was in the Navy.
Then I was given drugs. I had never had any drugs, even aspirin, in my whole life. Well, maybe in my year since leaving home, I'd tried aspirin at least. But I didn't have any idea what was happening. At some point I was shaved down there. My young Coast Guard husband was somewhere else, and I had relied upon him since we married, almost entirely.
Doug, Corpus Christi, Texas |
Labor was intense enough that I was in that hallway around 4 pm. I honestly didn't see or hear anything until being asked to move to the delivery table a bit past midnight. I saw the clock on the wall. That was what their drugs did to me. Maybe I endured a lot of pain, or maybe I was the one shouting as I didn't endure labor. I knew the next day I was hoarse, and people around me said I was the one screaming. I do remember complaining to the doctors asking me to get on the delivery table "but you're making me sit on my baby's head."
I lay back, raised my feet as commanded into the stirrups, and looked for a mirroring surface so I might see the baby emerge. Good thing I couldn't find one, because they had to use forceps. This left a little bump on the side of my precious little one's head for the first week of his life. They did tell me it would go away. And it did.
I also remember I had what was called a saddle block. (Boy the horsemen sure were with me that night, stirrups, saddle block!) So when the doctor said now is time to push, I laughed and asked how...I could no longer feel a thing. If I wasn't giddy with the drugs I'm sure I could have figured it out.
Little Marty |
I remember having my pre-natal checkups in the same hospital. We pregnant women would all line up and receive our little cups for urine samples, which we took turns depositing in the one bathroom. I now wonder exactly what they were looking for in our pee. I guess something might have been evident if it was wrong. Then we'd undress and be draped, on a table with only curtains separating us from the next woman. We'd be probed, measured, and baby's heart listened to. And that was it, for months on end, then every week.
So fifty years ago, I finally had my baby. A few days in the hospital, and my parents and sister visited when we went home...they lived half a continent away. Other cousins and Great Aunts came also to visit. I felt like such a queen, having given birth and having a healthy child. My dear husband was on leave for a few days, then went back on his cutter.
Grandmother giving Marty soothing lullaby |
First grandchild for both sides of the families |
Sure it took 2 or more adults to give that little squirming guy a bath! |
And into the bliss of first time young motherhood came the disaster.
Happy Birthday to Marty! Take care, have a great day!
ReplyDelete...time flies.
ReplyDeleteWhat an experience. Our first was too but nothing like yours. for sure. Congrats to both you and Marty.
ReplyDeleteThanks AC. We seem to be survivors!
DeleteMemories like these will never leave us. You certainly had a rough time. Happy birthday though, 60 years later, to son and mother.
ReplyDeleteYes, it was a rude awakening to medical care, from never having had any. I didn't know any way to evaluate good from bad care either. So glad we survived!
DeleteI am so sorry you had such an awful experience...and how smart of you to get outside advice.
ReplyDeleteMy son at 52 reminds me how fortunate I was in my own experience.
We all managed to muddle through despite the circumstances.........smartcat/suzi
Yes, I think young mothers do muddle through a lot. Just remembering all those sleepless nights that every young parent goes through while the little one starts to get used to eating and so forth. It's awesome.
DeleteYour story is a reflection on how poorly women were treated by medics focused on men. Gald both of you made it through that horror.
ReplyDeleteI must wonder why so many women were in labor that afternoon/night. Marty wasn't due till June 4, so he was a week early, but certainly full size.
DeleteYou are a survivor. We have learned so much in the years since. My elder two granddaughters, one born with the help of midwives, one born at home, with 2 midwives and a midwife student.
ReplyDeleteMy middle child was 10 1/2 lbs. and he just took hard work!
By the time I had my third son in 79, I considered natural childbirth, but having had a C-section emergency birth of son #2, they frowned upon it. But I was given so much more support in private hospitals than that horrible NAS hospital in Corpus Christi in 1964. I had a good friend, a nurse midwife with a PhD. in the 90s, who moved from Knoxville TN, to Indiana to teach nursing midwifery at Ball State U. I think women regaining a bit of power over their bodies has begun...though the 2nd anniversary of the death of Roe v. Wade is coming June 24. It isn't going to continue, I have high hopes.
DeleteOh I thought a 9 lb. 4 oz. guy (the last one) had been big. Kudos for you giving birth to your little football player!
DeleteWhat a scary, happy, scary, happy story of your life!
ReplyDeleteSad the personnel were not educated to help you properly and that your Hubby wasn´t there for support.
But so nice it came out all good in the end, happy Birthday to your Son!
Ingo wanted kids but reading this ... huhhhh... scary. Glad I said no (for other reasons than the expected pain).