Listen to the elders...

"Peanuts" comic strip by Charles M. Schulz, 1976.

In case you're an elder...please make a comment below.  I think it's more likely that those who read blogs are of the elder persuasion than of school age.  Just my opinion!

If you knew how many more days you would live...

What would you want to do?
Many people say, just do whatever I was doing already...being with family, going on small trips, maybe working on one project or another.

And some people would do the "bucket list" thing...the big things that meant a lot to them that they hadn't had a chance to do yet.

Main St. Deadwood, SD, 1876

Then there are folks like me, dealing with ancestors all the time, so aware of the many people that have given me my own life, and they are all dead.  I look at their headstones through photos on line.  I also read a blog about elders, which some days touches on death, preparation for it, and being those who are around it and are survivors of some loved one's death.  The person who writes that blog is currently dying of pancreatic cancer.  It is a surprisingly rich experience for the blogging readers.

Booth Monument, Stratford, Fairfield Co, CT

So today I toy with a choice about this blog. Quite honestly, nobody seems interested in it.  Almost nobody ever comments, unless I share it over on 52 Ancestors, or Sepia Saturday.  Actually they are few and far between in commenting.  And they aren't really interested in my family trees.

I spend hours before each posting, looking over at Ancestry at the many hints on each person in a family...and trying to determine if this person by this name is the right one, or maybe another one by that name who lived around the same time.  It's incredibly confusing in early Colonial America, and even more so in England.  There were cousins of the same name, and uncles, and grandchildren...not to mention the headaches of women who weren't recorded by anything but a first name often.

So I think of why I'm doing what I'm doing. 

1. To know the truth.  That's a big reason.  Somehow that is a fundamental part of my searches.  To record it as best I can of course, after I figure it out.

2. To make discoveries.  I recently had an "ah ha" moment.  It meant a connection to me.  Nobody else could share the excitement I had however.  But I knew something I hadn't before. Something made sense.

3. To spend my time recording a worthwhile bit of information.  Not just trivia.  Not to give anyone a laugh.

But then, what if nobody ever reads it?  Mmm, that's why I'm thinking of this right now, is it really just a lost cause?  I could be doing something else.  Making the most beautiful piece of sculpture ever.  Writing a wonderful story.  Meditating to become more holy/enlightened. Catching up on things I've put off for years.  Volunteering to help others more. Reading more. Cooking more. Hiking more. Taking photos more. Writing something else...

So the question before me today is...given I have a limited life-span (like we all do, completely ignorant of the actual time limit) should I spend hours a day putting this ancestry information together here?

The answer I first come up with, is it satisfying? Do I get joy from it?

Not so much, I guess.

So I think what I need to do is give myself a set amount of time a day that I will sit down and work on family history.  Then whatever amount of information is sifted through, I can have the sense that my work on it has been fruitful.  No matter what it is, an hour of it will provide some amount of information.  Let's say a quarter of a blog.  So 4 hours might produce a blog posting in total.

And the one hour of work will also produce some information onto my Ancestry pages too.

There's also that goal I set for Christmas last year. To produce a document of the family for my 3 sons, and their descendants (if they have any.)  It is somewhat depressing that they are growing up and not reproducing yet.  I wonder if I'll live long enough to have a great grandchild!  Oh well, just look at all my mother ancestors who saw so many children die before they became adults.  My life has been much longer already, and I've 3 healthy sons at least....the youngest will turn 40 this year!

Walker Sisters, Smoky Mountains National Park

I also tend to look at the birthdays of ancestors as the way I find whether I've written about them or not.  It takes me to most of them several times, and each time I look at their siblings or children a little deeper.  And I find many things that give clues to their own lives.  Elder parents often lived with their children who were grown...and that shows on census records.

OK, time to get away from the laptop for now.

I'll be back to write more about my next ancestor, Elizabeth Ufford Beers, on April 3...not here.  I do those posts on my other blog, Three Family Trees.

Feed friends!

Well, this grandmom bought all this food for having 5 visitors last week.  But they didn't come, we went to a restaurant instead. So the food needed to be cooked.  I am lucky to have friends who work all day and don't mind having home made food when they get home.

We ate the glazed ham, fluffy mashed potatoes, and fresh green beans, after a big tossed salad. Oh, I forgot to mention the multi-grain chips and spinach dip!  Since it was 2 days later, I'd had a bit of the wine already, and just offered them some juices (planned for grandchildren.) My friends were very gracious, and we watched the beginning of the basketball tournaments, in which they have invested $10 as a pick of winners of final 4, or something like that.

They brought strawberry pie, but i don't eat strawberries, so they took it home with them.  My friend even dried dishes while I washed up.  It was a good evening, and they went home to watch their games with some left over ham for sandwiches, and I still have left overs for several dinners for myself.

A son and family

Your children have their own lives, intertwined but still going in different directions eventually.  Hey son, they are living with you (your 3 daughters) for just a moment in their lives, and then they'll be gone.  Hey mom (my daughter-in-law) you can only hold them for so long, then they will listen to their own inner voices.

I was so happy to have a brief visit with them this evening (Tues.) as they whizzed past on their way from one place to another.  I'm not the destination in their lives. But fortunately I'm near lots of interstates, and can go from my home to where their route is going.  We have a meal every year or so that way.

I wish they had had time to come to my house.  It sits here empty except for a few friends who drop in.  No kids that just know the door is always open for them.  That was not the case even my own life with my own grandmothers.  We were removed, kept separate...so something that wasn't approved of wouldn't infect us.  OK, that's a bit extreme.

My children who are parents, are very responsible, and care a lot for their little ones who are almost all grown, like these 3, or are all the way grown up but still living at home like my other 3 grands.  The youngest of my grands will turn 12 in a couple of weeks.

I admit that I didn't take parenting as seriously as these men (my sons) are...but then maybe it's a male thing.  I know I felt a real disaster as a mother many times.  And then I had the gall to be a single parent and take all kinds of responsibilities that I wasn't at all prepared for.  No wonder things turned out the way they did. And it might have been part of why they are such good parents!

However, each of my 3 sons are grown, and in relationships, and seem to be living pretty happy lives.  So no matter what the quality of their parenting may have been, they've turned out fine.  I love them so much, and am so proud of each of them.

UUCSV welcomed the goddesses

 Maggie Moon interpreted the music by dancing

 Kim Hughes sang for us

 Recorder music by...(ask someone his name, I don't remember)

 Annelinda Metzner was author of all the music and poetry, and also the M.C.

 Rebecca Williams shared readings

Unfortunately I had coughing, so had to leave...nothing like missing hearing something because someone coughs at the wrong moment.  But I watched from the lobby!

Thanks so much Linda!

Shopping

We are creatures that consume. Can't get around it.  But also it's fun to find a new venue (new to me) which offers prices that are pretty unimaginable.  Such is Aldi's.  It's in nearby Asheville, where all the competing grocery stores are besides Ingles and Hopeys here in Black Mountain.

I shared a statement (in a Facebook ad?) that said they were offering organic produce.  Other Facebooker's said no, it wasn't all organic.  The first time I shopped there several weeks ago, avocados were 29 cents...and this time they were 59 cents.  Either one is great for competing with $2 in my regular grocery.

I was happy to find Gaelic Ale tucked away here.

And others (on FB) said they didn't like the stores for various reasons.  I continue to enjoy this one which was recently renovated...but I'd never seen it before that, so I don't know what its improvements were.

 It's clean and well organized.  I make sure to go on weekdays earlier than when school's out, to avoid a crowded venue.  This time new things were being brought out and shelved (Wed. afternoon) so that took up aisle space.

I was pretty happy with prices. Of course there are many things I'm not interested in purchasing. And because space is given to them, I missed finding some of my regular grocery items.  But it was kind of fun to see what they had.  I did have to be a wise shopper when I saw a few items that were not really low priced. I didn't notice any items that I purchased that had 'expired' dates on them, which is often the case in bargain stores.


Today's Quote:

It is a powerful practice to be generous when you are the one feeling in need.

ALLAN LOKOS

Morning has broken - though shade keeps the frost alive

So spring is officially here.  Lovely morning for it.  There's frost on the roof of the building downhill from me again.

Some trees are casting shade and the sun doesn't seem to be doing the melting line like it did a few days ago. (Here.)

Oh there it is, where the higher roof shades the lower one, and the frost melts back as the sun hits it.

Isn't it nice with all the word's trauma and news that I can focus on how the sun melts frost on a neighbor's roof?

Happy Vernal Equinox!

The earliest blooms are out there.  Nights still below freezing this week, but warm (and mostly sunny) days.  Sigh.  She turns toward an equal day/night in the hours, and soon it will seem like everything is mating and having new growth.  She, Gaia, our mother earth, is such a wonder to be aware of, amazed by, and just observed.

Joy is flooding my blood also.

Quote for today:

We can’t enchant the world, which makes its own magic; but we can enchant ourselves by paying deep attention.  Diane Ackerman

Speaking of rooftops

 My living/dining room windows have a great view that reflects the seasons. I recently posted about other rooftops over at Living in Black Mountain.

 The rooftops are more visible during winter months...

This morning (no, not the snowy view) I saw frost on the roofs of the apartments downhill from me.  Then, because we're close to Vernal Equinox, the frost was melted as the sun hit it...and I could watch as the shingles appeared gradually.

It was so peaceful, knowing I was probably the only person seeing this miracle, that as the earth spun eastward, I witnessed how close to alignment our buildings have been built to east west coordinates.

It was so beautiful I didn't even try to take photos.

A quote for today:

Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  Jesus

Ram Dass said...part three

Astronut not tethered 

Time is a box formed by thoughts of the past and future. When there is only the immediate now – when you’re not dwelling in the past or anticipating the future, but you are just right here, right now – you’re outside of time. Dwelling in the moment is dwelling in the soul, which is eternal presence. When we’re outside of time, there’s no subject or object; it’s all just here. The thinking mind deals only with subject and object. But from within here now, you watch time go by. You are not being in time. You be, and time goes by, as if you were standing on a bridge and watching it all go by.

Ours is a journey toward simplicity, toward quietness, toward a kind of joy that is not in time. In this journey out of time to “NowHere,” we are leaving behind every model we have had of who we thought we were. This journey involves a transformation of our being so that our thinking mind becomes our servant rather than our master. It’s a journey that takes us from primary identification with our psyche to identification with our souls, then to identification with God, and ultimately beyond any identification at all.

Life is an incredible curriculum in which we live richly and passionately as a way of awakening to the deepest truths of our being. As a soul, I have only one motive: to merge with God. As a soul, I live in the moment, in each rich and precious moment, and I am filled with contentment.

- Ram Dass, excerpt from his book Polishing the Mirror: How to Live from Your Spiritual Heart, published 2013.

Ram Dass said...part two

We are on an inevitable course of awakening. If you understand that message deeply, it allows you to enter into your spiritual practices from a different perspective, one of patience and timelessness. You do your practices not out of a sense of duty or because you think you should, but because you know in your soul there really is nothing else you would rather do.

In Sanskrit this is called vairagya, a state of weariness with worldly desire where only the desire for spiritual fulfillment is left. The spiritual pull is the last desire, one that really grabs you, but that dissolves on its own because you dissolve in the process. The Tao says, “In the end you will be like the valley which is the favorite resort of the Way.” You become receptive, become soft, become open, become attuned, become quiet. You become the ocean of love.

The soul is made of love, and must ever strive to return to love. It can never find rest nor happiness in other things. It must lose itself in love. – Mechthild of Magdeburg

Spirit Helpers, painting by Susan Seddon Boulet

- Ram Dass, excerpt from his book Polishing the Mirror: How to Live from Your Spiritual Heart, published 2013.

Ram Dass said...part one

Photo by Stacy Redmond

A soul takes human birth in order to have a series of experiences through which it will awaken out of its illusion of separateness. The physical experience of being incarnated is the curriculum, and the purpose of the course is to awaken us from the illusion that we are the incarnation. Spiritual practices are tools to help us accomplish these goals.

You start from innocence and you return to innocence. A sage was asked, “How long have we been on this journey?” He replied, “Imagine a mountain three miles wide, three miles high, and three miles long. Once every hundred years, a bird flies over the mountain, holding a silk scarf in its beak, which it brushes across the surface of the mountain. The time it would take for the scarf to wear down the mountain is how long we’ve been doing this.”

- Ram Dass, excerpt from his book Polishing the Mirror: How to Live from Your Spiritual Heart, published 2013

Who is dancing?

I went back just a few years, looking for any dancer photos.  Ah, there are weekly concerts by Lake Tomahawk each summer, and I did capture a few friends and neighbors. Mostly they were listening, but I have seen these lovely ladies get up and sway to the music. And since it's on grass, swaying might be the safest way to "cut a rug."

 For much of the evening, young people did their own movements, cart wheels, hand stands, or perhaps just navel gazing while wearing a yellow shirt and sitting in the dirt...

 But this couple was brave enough to get up and dance in front of the crowd.

 As were these lovely ladies

 The concerts are often a lot more crowded than this one was...and there are usually a lot more dancers.  Now I know what I'll be taking photos of next summer.

Linking to Sepia Saturday this week.