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Come on over to my 2 updated blogs, ancestry details continue at Three Family Trees,

Alchemy of Clay and Living in Black Mountain NC, the scenery and my potting life are combined.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Romance for conservatives

Dad in an ROTC uniform


I never saw this picture until my parents were both dead.  I wonder where they had hid it all their lives...when my family kept doing it's very conservative activities and denied that romance had once blossomed for these two people.

Imagine my surprise to see the caption my father wrote in this album from his youth.  "Us Before Cupid" sounds like there was definitely something that changed from friendship into romance.  

My parents went to the same high school, and both were in ROTC, marching around in the mid 30's.  They married in 1937.

When as a teenager I tried to celebrate my parents anniversary and asked them to kiss, they refused.  I never saw anything physical between them...no touches at all.  They called each other "Honey" however.

So since my sister and I did exist, we figured out that our parents did something besides sleep in their double bed...which of course was totally yucky to consider.   I think their dedication to their religion and perhaps raising us girls, not to mention they both worked full time and kept the household, took all the romance out of their lives.  But who knows what was going on in their private lives.  After all we lived with them in the very conservative 50s.

This is my Sepia Saturday contribution for this week.



13 comments:

Mike Burnett said...

As a war baby I grew up in the forties and fifties, and your piece struck a chord. After watching my elders I became convinced that lasting relationships were based on mutual resignation. With hindsight I think this was a sign of an innate conservatism inwhich outward displays of affection were frowned upon.
I was the eldest of 4, so something happened. And, my Father was certainly a bit more animated when my brother brought his lusty, busty girlfriend home.
Scenes of nudity on the TV caused the parents some embarrassment when any of us kids were around.
My in-laws never saw each other naked even though they were married for over 60 years.

Have we changed?

Wendy said...

My parents were not affectionate in public either, but there was no doubt my dad thought Momma was the most beautiful, smartest, funniest, best thing going.

barbara and nancy said...

this was like my parents exactly. I always thought it was because my father was so shy and introverted. But now that you mention it, I think it was the 50s. Maybe a combination of both.
It's nice that you found the photo that proved they had some romance in their life.
Nancy

Peter said...

It is a pity, to say the least, that so many questions will remain unanswered forever...

Monica T. said...

Often it's not until people are gone that we feel free to try and figure out the puzzle of their lives...

Bob Scotney said...

An intriguing photo; I wonder what was in the bits cropped/cut off. Your Dad looks smart, but if that is your Mother above I can't see her too well.

B. Rogers, Alchemy of Clay said...

Hi everyone...thanks for the comments! I do have other pics from my Dad's album which show my mom off better...but this is the combination that he made that comment about...which is why I chose it to post here.
It is simple to try to figure out other people's lives, and even wonder what my own children and grandchildren will think of mine, based on what I leave behind. Thus the title of this blog!! There will be a book of the same name eventually!

Meri said...

Well I, for one, hope that there was affection in the bedroom that just wasn't shared in public. How sad to go through an entire marriage with no sizzle!

Helen Bauch McHargue said...

My parents were very affectionate with us, but less so with each other. I think it was the accepted standard of the times.

Kristin said...

I also hope there was some passion going on behind closed doors.

Alan Burnett said...

I don't think any of us are capable of seeing our parents as people : they are too close for that. I suppose all children are part of the relationship of parents and therefore never able to look at it from the outside.

Deb Gould said...

That's an intriguing story! I, too, grew up in the late 40s and 50s; my parents were not touchers, and I vowed I would not repeat that pattern. It makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Tattered and Lost said...

I hope my grandparents on both sides were affectionate, but I don't recall ever seeing it. My parents were right up until the end.